Animals: Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the...

By Sam l. - 10/11/2012 06:51 - United States

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 175

You deserved it 3 667

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Same thing different taste

Idyllic

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Valkenswaard

Today, after watching TV, my boyfriend and I had to go walk our dog. I was too lazy to get up from the couch immediately so I teased him by turning off all the (smart) lights using my phone. He got mad and went upstairs to continue watching TV, so now I have to walk the dog alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 794

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 17/06/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 235

By FrozenAnonymus - 14/07/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 872

You deserved it 1 530

By oneloveliz - 17/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 492

You deserved it 1 578

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 745

You deserved it 8 330

Hey sexy…

By syn1734 - 16/10/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 196

You deserved it 3 452

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 93

Sweep it under the rug

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 512

By dog got ur phone - 07/05/2017 02:00

Today, I was playing music from my phone, which was on the couch. I guess my dog got jealous, because she picked it up and ran over to the toilet, promptly dropping it right in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 013

You deserved it 741

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 239

You deserved it 3 272

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:02

Bitches be crazy.

tj5810 21

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:03

That happens to everyone. *wink wink*

Comments

DocBastard 38

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:26

You're the same idiot who tries to blame his farts on the dog too, aren't you? AREN'T YOU??

ObsceneOblivion 4

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:44

Oh no, are you telling us the dogs are gonna be like the cravendale cats now? But seeking revenge for the blaming of farts?

KingCeltic77 18

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:46

I'm not sure if shell believe this one...

Marrach 7

Sunday 11 November 2012 7:36

Who's Shell?

gracehi 31

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:47

"No, baby, it wasn't me! It was Wilfred!"

LaPush_ 7

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:51

Yeah, right (;

wickedninja918 1

Saturday 10 November 2012 18:13

but i promise it was the dog

tswizz 13

Saturday 10 November 2012 14:03

If your girlfriend doesn't allow you to watch ****, the she has some serious security issues.

BunBunBabe 8

Saturday 10 November 2012 18:12

Most girls don't appreciate their guy watching ****, it's only a good thing when you watch it TOGETHER then it's sexier and the two of you can reenact some scenes

Cazzybum 11

Sunday 11 November 2012 2:03

[Citation needed]… so nobody in a relationship is ever allowed to fap to a bit of visual stimulation when they're alone? **** off.

ChelseaGrin112 14

Sunday 11 November 2012 5:49

OR maybe she just finds it disgusting? :/

kikis_momma 5

Saturday 10 November 2012 14:07

Your girlfriend shouldn't be so uptight

TurquoiseJesus 15

Saturday 10 November 2012 18:08

I think he meant that if she had a problem with **** (not necessarily that she does or doesn't watch it), she was probably uptight. Assuming that is true, idunno where the assumption that she has a problem with **** came from.