Animals: Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the...

By Sam l. - 10/11/2012 06:51 - United States

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 149

You deserved it 3 651

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Idyllic

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Valkenswaard

Today, after watching TV, my boyfriend and I had to go walk our dog. I was too lazy to get up from the couch immediately so I teased him by turning off all the (smart) lights using my phone. He got mad and went upstairs to continue watching TV, so now I have to walk the dog alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 714

By FrozenAnonymus - 14/07/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 1 520

By oneloveliz - 17/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 461

You deserved it 1 563

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 730

You deserved it 8 310

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 84

By syn1734 - 16/10/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 137

You deserved it 3 423

By dog got ur phone - 07/05/2017 02:00

Today, I was playing music from my phone, which was on the couch. I guess my dog got jealous, because she picked it up and ran over to the toilet, promptly dropping it right in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 996

You deserved it 734

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 220

You deserved it 3 255

By holly - 24/05/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, I was watching TV on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because, "the dog can't see the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 113

You deserved it 4 704

Doggy dog world

By Maude - 20/11/2020 05:03 - Canada - Beauharnois

Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 224

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:02

Bitches be crazy.

tj5810 21

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:03

That happens to everyone. *wink wink*

Comments

DocBastard 38

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:26

You're the same idiot who tries to blame his farts on the dog too, aren't you? AREN'T YOU??

ObsceneOblivion 4

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:44

Oh no, are you telling us the dogs are gonna be like the cravendale cats now? But seeking revenge for the blaming of farts?

KingCeltic77 18

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:46

I'm not sure if shell believe this one...

Marrach 7

Sunday 11 November 2012 7:36

Who's Shell?

gracehi 31

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:47

"No, baby, it wasn't me! It was Wilfred!"

LaPush_ 7

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:51

Yeah, right (;

wickedninja918 1

Saturday 10 November 2012 18:13

but i promise it was the dog

tswizz 13

Saturday 10 November 2012 14:03

If your girlfriend doesn't allow you to watch ****, the she has some serious security issues.

BunBunBabe 8

Saturday 10 November 2012 18:12

Most girls don't appreciate their guy watching ****, it's only a good thing when you watch it TOGETHER then it's sexier and the two of you can reenact some scenes

Cazzybum 11

Sunday 11 November 2012 2:03

[Citation needed]… so nobody in a relationship is ever allowed to fap to a bit of visual stimulation when they're alone? **** off.

ChelseaGrin112 14

Sunday 11 November 2012 5:49

OR maybe she just finds it disgusting? :/

kikis_momma 5

Saturday 10 November 2012 14:07

Your girlfriend shouldn't be so uptight

TurquoiseJesus 15

Saturday 10 November 2012 18:08

I think he meant that if she had a problem with **** (not necessarily that she does or doesn't watch it), she was probably uptight. Assuming that is true, idunno where the assumption that she has a problem with **** came from.