Today, my daughter had a vocabulary assignment. She had to find five new words in books and movies. She was watching Shrek, so her first word was "thong". FML
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Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
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Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
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Top comments
tzemmy 25
Sometimes it's just great how many adult jokes are in kid movies.
Strawburryemma01 14
does she know what it means?
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Comments (66)
General_Cool 24
Onions have layers. Ogres have layers.
Xelabasat 14
Just tell her it means "sandals" because it does in other places of the world
Seabass_Chan 33
Oh yeah, I'm sure that'll work out just great. "What did you do over summer break, Katie?" "Mommy and I went shopping for thongs to wear to the beach!"
kennethlwinter 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe you shouldn't let your kids watch such trash.
SauceySarah 30
Shrek is not trash!!! Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
laden_swallow09 35
Shrek is dreck!
RageWolf16 31
Try Harry Potter next, maybe.
HylianWarrior 21
My new vocabulary words are alohomora, levicorpus, accio, sectumsempra, and crucio
saffy66 34
Here in the land of Oz, that's footwear.
alex_gen 39
Just tell her it's a flip flop. It would pass in Australia.
Bansheefaerie 9
Thong, like flip flops :D We'll go with that.
writerchic85 26
Oh big deal. So she knows about a type of underwear. Precious sheltered snowflake.
HylianBadger 21
She got that far into the movie before she found a new vocabulary word? Depending on how old she is, that's impressive.
rorex 26
It's just underwear
HylianBadger 21
Depending on where you live, it's also a flip flop. But most dictionary definitions describe it as a strip of leather.
Flyndaran 10
It's "sexy" underwear certainly not meant for children. Being 41, I grew up knowing them as things you wear on your feet. Autstralians still call them that.
rorex 26
In Shrek 2, they tell Pinocchio to lie and say he's wearing lady's underwear and gingy says it's a thong, which is where it comes from. I feel like it's only sexy if you make it seem that way, everybody I know wears thongs because they like them better, not about the appeal or for sexual reasons. It's just underwear