Today, my daughter had a vocabulary assignment. She had to find five new words in books and movies. She was watching Shrek, so her first word was "thong". FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
Today, my daughter couldn't find a hair tie and thought a piece of duct tape would be a perfectly fine substitute. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tzemmy 25
Sometimes it's just great how many adult jokes are in kid movies.
Strawburryemma01 14
does she know what it means?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (66)
zykrithium 22
Get shrek'd
ulissey_fml 22
If she asks what it means, don't remain thong-tied just give her a brief explanation.
susubabe29 7
anddddddd that relates to Shrek how???
tomvertigo 17
Thongs can be sandals, just saying.
trucker2 33
Thank god it wasn't show and tell
Lunchy306 8
That's epic!
Blake77_fml 19
Atleast its not puss
fyl7899 12
Shrek is crap
nodai 13
Shrek also calls Donkey an ass in the movie AND book.
lilycups 11
And? Thongs are just flip flops to some people.