Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
And that's when your dad when into serial killer mode.
salamancer 11
As opposed to the inside of his penis???
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Comments (126)
MrConcise 35
I wonder how he thinks sex is usually performed if he had to specify which parts of which "parts" were to be used.
slutfactory 17
I'd like to know if your parents commented or tried to ignore it all together.
sullivankeara 25
I hope it wasn't a first date.
IamHercules 24
Does it really matter? That's a weird thing to say when her parents are within earshot.
julianbozikovic 20
How awkward OP! Hope your parents weren't too psychotic!
toaster87 19
If I were your parents, I wouldn't even flinch, because I would hope I raised a daughter that was smart enough to realize how stupid that guy was lol
CaroAurelia 12
True. If a guy said that to my kid, my first response would be "Promise me you won't call that weirdo back."
184886837272837 32
Depends, if I'd been dating a girl for a while I might say something creepy like that as a joke. If this was a first or second date then it was really just a shitty attempt to get laid.
khorstmye 15
Wait what? How old are you two? Don't you know you save comments like that for sexting.
finalyearsofhate 22
You save comments like that for..never.
AirBusDriver 23
WTF? Was he drunk and a complete douche too? This needs a follow up, did you two fool around on your date? As s dad, I'd set this kid straight RFN
Tarlachia 33
That's when your dad says "I want you to feel the inside of my foot on the outside of your ass when I kick you out of my house!"
classicsparkles 17
Wouldn't it be the outside of his foot on the outside of his ass?
ephram17 24
it should definitely be "outside of foot"
Tarlachia 33
The inside of the foot can also be the side of your foot that is parallel to your big toe on either foot...
LaurenRoxsU 9
@59, Legitimately a nice save. People almost proved you wrong. But then ohwait...anatomy lesson bunnecessaryselfcensoringes!
gintwinsmoore 20
how about the outside of the foot on the inside of his ass...like entire foot inside his ass???
chef_burns 9
I was looking for a "that 70's show" joke here. "you know what else will be escalated quickly, my foot up your ass", but no it was a let down.
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Lmao. Who says it like that? Was the supposed to be sexy?