Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
And that's when your dad when into serial killer mode.
salamancer 11
As opposed to the inside of his penis???
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Comments (126)
LaurenRoxsU 9
@78, I'M SORRY, But "If I ****** you, I wouldn't pull out." Is a line? Since when did that happen?!? My god, this world...just..no.
brittanysue 1
so disrespectful
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How...romantic? O.o
anabanana101 15
he's so good at dirty talk... and timing things
sirrubberduckie 37
#95, that's from an FML about 6 before this one.
toxicLover28 19
Damn, either they have really good hearing or that "whisper" was a little too loud.
ouijacorn 9
Even if your parents hadn't heard it, I maintain that is one of the creepiest lines I've ever heard.
rmllavaneras 19
Totally! This goes beyond that Eminem song that says "I'm gonna get my hands down your pants." Still, not as bad as "I wanna fill up your belly with people."
sarah2144 14
What a creepy thing to say.
Dean__Winchester 16
Clearly it wasn't a good whisper if they heard. Who in the heck says that after meeting the parents, though?? C'MON! At least wait until they're out of the room and let them have a good impression for about a week
WhoCouldIBe 11
That's very... Original