Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail, because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the fourth time a month ago. He's now back in prison. FML
Today, I found out that my dad has been trying to take money out of my savings account to pay for divorce fees and a hammock. FML
Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML
Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
Today, my dad refuses to let me inherit all of his money, which might just put a roof over my head when I’m older. *His* money? Well, actually, he inherited it. FML
Today, my sister finally broke down and told me that our dad gambled away of all my college savings, and I would have to pay for school the best way I can. They have known for months, and when I asked why nobody told me, the reply was, "You're a college boy, we thought you would figure it out." FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
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Top comments
melissamoshh 0
How thoughtful
whiskuit 0
Now there's something you can't call a... *puts on sunglasses* ...trust fund. YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH
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Comments (278)
jellybelliez 0
at least he cares??
KillTheNoise 0
Just sounds like you have a get out of jail free card... Well at your fathers expense but you know what I mean! Just make sure you don't go to jail for something stupid like rolling doubles three times in a row
theten_fml 9
I hope he has enough
xoxotayy58 0
atleast he'll bail you out and not leave your ass in there. kind of nice.
yayo55 0
atleast u got someone to bail u out
Ugi 27
Why not see if you can cut a deal with him - if you can stay out of jail until you finish college then you can have the money towards your loans instead! Gives you some good motivation.
guitar_god7007 3
look on the bright side. he's gonna bail you out. go rob a convenience store.
caviar_fml 2
nice to know your parents have faith in you hey
shakeTHEworld 12
This reminded me of the FML when a guy was given a spot in the cementary on his 17th birthday by his parents. Thoughtful but...
Mach10 0
Look at it this way; if he's setting aside bail money, it means he doesn't think you'll do anything that serious. Look at that IMF guy; 300k bail bond for (allegedly) grabbing a hotel-maid's ****.