Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail, because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the fourth time a month ago. He's now back in prison. FML
Today, I found out that my dad has been trying to take money out of my savings account to pay for divorce fees and a hammock. FML
Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML
Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
Today, my dad refuses to let me inherit all of his money, which might just put a roof over my head when I’m older. *His* money? Well, actually, he inherited it. FML
Today, my sister finally broke down and told me that our dad gambled away of all my college savings, and I would have to pay for school the best way I can. They have known for months, and when I asked why nobody told me, the reply was, "You're a college boy, we thought you would figure it out." FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
melissamoshh 0
How thoughtful
whiskuit 0
Now there's something you can't call a... *puts on sunglasses* ...trust fund. YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (278)
jacobmasterdebai 1
cuz hey u Neva know
biwinning88 1
how is this an fml... I think its hilarious.. your dads awesome and a thinker
Emili_ho69 0
shit happens u never know when u just might need to get bailed out. I just got bailed out an it was set at 12,000$ so at least he's looking after u. lol
XxTDxX 0
nice father
invicta8926 0
Better safe than sorry.
JokeMeister 0
pruden planning.
chronick89 5
at least he's willing to bail your ass out!!
lyndz_20 8
hmm i wonder why your dad would think that
bugehoner20 0
hmm he must've been a white guy that married your black mother, and you must be black. he's right
rj6 0
gota love those dads