Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my stepdad punched me in the face after I told him I hated him. He and my mom came in 10 minutes later to try to convince me that I'd made it up in my head that he'd punched me. My face was still red. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML
Today, my sister punched me in the face. My dad was actually annoyed with me when I told him. He said I'll never be a "real man" if I can't take a hit from a girl. FML
Today, I was trying to take a nice picture of my dad but he was just doing stupid-looking poses, so I got mad and told him to "stop acting like a prostitute" without knowing what that even means. Keep in mind, this was also in front of my mum and oldest sister. FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 35
I want to buy your dad a drink.
myeverydaymylife 21
And then you take a selfie of you with him in the background, setting you on fire. All about that #selfie
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Comments (99)
ADelaf_fml 3
He's right, you don't take selfie... you take "self portrait " !
BigPeter 8
I think I could get along with him
mister_icicle 17
"Selfies" = narcissism at its finest. Also, this is not a "selfie", it's a picture of a hat in action. :-D
SpamPam 18
Stop lying to yourself
thecrazymancan 17
I just want to point out that using the word "selfie" is not the same thing as taking one. For example I just used the word, and I've hardly taken five selfies so far (jk).
vikky538 29
he is right..selfie sounds like selfish...
TheCrispyCat 20
I would probably do the same.
hellphone_fml 37
"Selfies are bad hurr duurr" Its just a picture and gives people self confidence. You are not a better person for not taking selfies and hating on people who do. In fact that kind of makes you guys assholes.
SpamPam 18
Oops accidentally thumbed down sorry :( you're right no one seemed to be upset at the ideas of self portraits only when it started being seen as feminine I think
syed121417 22
I completely agree with you. I don't understand why it bothers people that much. Hey if someone feels hot and wants to take a picture of themselves, damn let them, it's not affecting your life in any way. And it definitely doesn't mean they're conceited. There's a huge difference between having confidence and being overly confident
squideth 18
100% agree! I'm pro-selfie and pro-loving yourself. It shows how sad people are when they get their panties in a bunch about others being happy with how they look.
SjoyousS 4
WOW! Was this in jest?
SparksTheSadie 18
YDI. You should say 'self-portrait'.
thepelvicwoo 8
Hopefully he was joking.