By lonely loser - United States - Seattle Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 41665 You deserved it 6743 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ekoblick - United States Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML I agree, your life sucks 41253 You deserved it 3900 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane Today my daughter asked me to do her a huge favor : undergo a liposuction transplantation where my fat would be sucked out then put into her butt and thighs. Apparently, I am the fattest DNA match to her, lessening the risk of her rejecting the transplant. FML I agree, your life sucks 11576 You deserved it 1111 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lilrudegirl - France Today, I found out that after working in the same office for five years, I now work with three of my husband's ex-girlfriends. FML I agree, your life sucks 35214 You deserved it 3299 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stupidbug. - Canada Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML I agree, your life sucks 11947 You deserved it 36870 193 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stacyyvonne - United States Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML I agree, your life sucks 36308 You deserved it 3475 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DHarman - United Kingdom Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML I agree, your life sucks 63503 You deserved it 4045 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aricababyy - United States - Winchester Today, I had my very first interview and pretty much got hired right away. Then I found out I have to drive 2 hours away for training. I don't have a car, license, or money. FML I agree, your life sucks 4720 You deserved it 568 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rholt - United States - Baldwin City Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML I agree, your life sucks 50365 You deserved it 8055 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eww - United States - Salem Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 43926 You deserved it 3128 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous 'Cause I'm a Criminal Today, I woke up to find both of my bank accounts frozen. My bank informed me that the IRS had ordered a freeze on my assets because of back taxes owed, and would not unfreeze them until the money is paid. The amount? $2.47. FML I agree, your life sucks 6628 You deserved it 807 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - Australia Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML I agree, your life sucks 45242 You deserved it 3186 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By harshdoobie - Canada Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML I agree, your life sucks 33063 You deserved it 3322 177 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By scotto - United States Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML I agree, your life sucks 76325 You deserved it 3441 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML I agree, your life sucks 25901 You deserved it 24519 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Helpful Smile - United States - Bettendorf Today, my boss used our communal notebook to bitch out our entire department for not leaving a note notifying her that one of the machines was down. She wrote it on the same page as the note I left saying that one of the machines was down. FML I agree, your life sucks 20632 You deserved it 1211 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtf did i do?? - Canada - Thornhill Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML I agree, your life sucks 34215 You deserved it 3226 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AlwaysTired - United States - San Carlos Today, I was officially diagnosed with OCD. My mother's reaction? "That's not possible, she's a fucking slob." FML I agree, your life sucks 24241 You deserved it 2560 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xXx3mi_MuffinxXx - United States Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML I agree, your life sucks 30659 You deserved it 3195 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML I agree, your life sucks 44906 You deserved it 4153 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Not his SunShine anymore - United States - Manchester Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML I agree, your life sucks 12624 You deserved it 1031 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By itwasajoke Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML I agree, your life sucks 8354 You deserved it 2304 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notsolucky - United States - Stamford Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML I agree, your life sucks 46104 You deserved it 3453 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Erie Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML I agree, your life sucks 65581 You deserved it 10025 205 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By marcymoo - Australia - Perth Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML I agree, your life sucks 35839 You deserved it 2829 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/2/2021 01:08 - United States - Irving Creepy Today, the power went out so my family all stayed together in a one room to keep warm. I was on the bed against the wall and reached my hand down, only to find my panties tucked in the side of my brother's bed. Not one pair, but two. FML I agree, your life sucks 1133 You deserved it 67 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By woof? - United States - San Francisco Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 32485 You deserved it 3427 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wideman - United States Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML I agree, your life sucks 18452 You deserved it 65377 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shay786 - 5/5/2020 17:00 My eyes! Today, I heard grunting and then realized it was my tenant with his boyfriend. When I went down to do my laundry, I caught them in the act. FML I agree, your life sucks 1589 You deserved it 280 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By katiebird - United States - Durham Today, my father informed me that I will have no chance of dating a good man if I keep up with these interracial relationships. And that he won't be supporting me through college if I continue this "rebellion." My boyfriend is half black and loves the same music, sports, and movies as my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 20507 You deserved it 2013 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Fast and Furious Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML I agree, your life sucks 804 You deserved it 1589 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wifeofafainter - United States - Bronx Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML I agree, your life sucks 23330 You deserved it 3047 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Money Shot Today, I was sunbathing by my pool, totally naked. After a while I got a boner and decided to jerk off. As I was about to finish, I rolled over to cum on the deck, but when I rolled back, my elderly neighbor yelled, "Don't do that in the open if you won’t give up the money shot." FML I agree, your life sucks 2253 You deserved it 8856 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML I agree, your life sucks 40283 You deserved it 3667 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alex - United States Today, I decided to ride my bike to the bus stop to go to school. I wasn't even half way and the last bus had already left. I figured I would loop around instead of going back the way I came and ended up riding 16 miles before I got home. FML I agree, your life sucks 7911 You deserved it 20097 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Northampton Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML I agree, your life sucks 52863 You deserved it 4343 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By abbacjt - United States Today, I sent my sister a text about how fat I was becoming and looking as disgusting as my ex husband. When I checked to see if she had received it I saw that I had accidentally sent it to my ex father in law. FML I agree, your life sucks 7740 You deserved it 26562 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hiccups - United States - Canton Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML I agree, your life sucks 34614 You deserved it 2812 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thepokemonkid - United States - Avon Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML I agree, your life sucks 32228 You deserved it 4121 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sleepdeprived - United States - Falmouth Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 46953 You deserved it 9734 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was running the drive-thru window at work, when a man pulled up with his dog in the seat next to him. As he was counting out his change, the dog leaned over his hand and drooled all over it. Not only did he pay exclusively in coins, those coins were slimy from dog drool. FML I agree, your life sucks 27824 You deserved it 2872 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mangasempai | 11 #6045591 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:23 Should call Jake from Statefarm, he'll keep you company. Send a private message 190 3 Reply
By junkman6 | 22 #6045593 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:23 In other news an average joe starts a company based on making phone calls to lonely people and becomes a millionaire! Send a private message 97 1 Reply
By mangasempai | 11 #6045591 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:23 Should call Jake from Statefarm, he'll keep you company. Send a private message 190 3 Reply
Reply Harshdfml | 14 #6045626 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:33 Say something I'm hanging up on you. Send a private message 50 3 Reply
Reply orbit | 22 #6045722 - Saturday 23 August 2014 7:24 "She sounds hideous" Send a private message 19 12 Reply
By Sudoc | 28 #6045592 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:23 They're not allowed to hang up on you Send a private message 9 31 Reply
By junkman6 | 22 #6045593 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:23 In other news an average joe starts a company based on making phone calls to lonely people and becomes a millionaire! Send a private message 97 1 Reply
Reply LexiDaBae | 17 #6045949 - Saturday 23 August 2014 17:07 That's actually a really good idea. Send a private message 11 0 Reply
Reply bodica | 4 #6046111 - Saturday 23 August 2014 21:30 Wasn't this a movie? Send a private message 1 2 Reply
By fsomelife | 26 #6045606 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:26 Are you perchance from soviet Russia? Send a private message 17 4 Reply
By jakeroney98 | 14 #6045610 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:26 Most of those companies don't let employees hang up, so you can waste all their time you want. Kind of ironic if you ask me, but funny the same Send a private message 21 3 Reply
Reply Mauskau | 35 #6045815 - Saturday 23 August 2014 13:40 They always hang up on me. I always question them to the point they can't respond without telling me what they're not allowed to tell me. Send a private message 6 1 Reply
By sashakotlik | 14 #6045619 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:29 Normally it's the other way around isn't it? Send a private message 17 1 Reply
By Psycho_Babydoll | 26 #6045620 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:30 Oh my God, this hurt my heart a little. Send a private message 42 4 Reply
By OhWhoCares | 42 #6045622 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:31 I'm trying to imagine how that conversation would go. If you feign interest won't they usually go on and on about whatever they're selling? Send a private message 16 1 Reply
Reply HJKM_fml | 19 #6046165 - Saturday 23 August 2014 23:33 Yeah. I can't hang up on them fast enough. lol. *Sorry to any telemarketers out there Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By n3ophyt3 | 10 #6045624 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:32 Well at least you knew whom to call when you are lonely Send a private message 5 2 Reply
Reply keirookami | 11 #6045628 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:34 But they ring us... Send a private message 9 0 Reply
By tfriend3 | 15 #6045627 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:34 It's not that difficult to socialize, just go out and try to meet new people. Send a private message 4 14 Reply
Reply Psycho_Babydoll | 26 #6045639 - Saturday 23 August 2014 5:38 If OP suffers from anxiety (just a wild guess, given the loneliness), it actually IS that difficult to 'just go out and meet new people'. Send a private message 30 0 Reply
Reply Rababco | 29 #6665453 - Friday 5 August 2016 3:34 If someone has social anxiety or Autism or even is just shy, it's very difficult to go out and meet people and make friends. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I found out the hard way that my sister has an OnlyFans. Not judging sex workers, I just really wish I’d know she goes by a stage name before I... I agree, your life sucks 353 You deserved it 95 3 Comments
Today, I found out my husband was cheating on me while I was waiting in an ICU waiting room while he was getting brain surgery. FML I agree, your life sucks 559 You deserved it 29 7 Comments