Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my stepdad punched me in the face after I told him I hated him. He and my mom came in 10 minutes later to try to convince me that I'd made it up in my head that he'd punched me. My face was still red. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML
Today, my sister punched me in the face. My dad was actually annoyed with me when I told him. He said I'll never be a "real man" if I can't take a hit from a girl. FML
Today, I was trying to take a nice picture of my dad but he was just doing stupid-looking poses, so I got mad and told him to "stop acting like a prostitute" without knowing what that even means. Keep in mind, this was also in front of my mum and oldest sister. FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 35
I want to buy your dad a drink.
myeverydaymylife 21
And then you take a selfie of you with him in the background, setting you on fire. All about that #selfie
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Comments (99)
Gunguy 11
Good man.
KaterinaPatrova 10
I think saying that was going too far, but I HATE that word too.
tellyc 27
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You deserve it
deathstroke990 22
your profile picture is a selfie...
citygirl28 11
Ermmmmm or it's a "picture of her" 44.. As we used to say...
sashakotlik 14
Not saying I support that word or anything, but that was a bit harsh in my opinion
n3ophyt3 10
Cheers to your Dad !!
rooikins 11
Props to your dad!
Flaming_Pandas 15
There seems to be something wrong with what your dad said... Perhaps he should be more harsh? In all seriousness, I hope things worked out okay for you, OP
wtfidkwtp 8
Too many new words nowadays that are just so overused. "Swag" "yolo" "selfie"
killerdana 19
Those are my 3 least favorite
shay_serendipity 29
And 'or nah.' I am freakin sick of hearing that.
kenb123 4
******
Larry01_fml 19
I wish there were more people like him