Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and asked, "Who am I?" He then replied, "An idiot." FML
Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
Today, my dad said I need to stop playing with toys and threw my lightsaber out of the window. It was a replica of the Lightsaber used by Mark Hamill, made from the same type handle from a 1970s camera, just like the film prop. It was over 40 years-old and worth thousands. Not anymore, as it's now scratched and in two pieces. FML
Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML
Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML
Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my lounge room, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, in front of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
So, your mom is Princess "Lay Ya?"
mea_iloveskiing 26
is your name luke? :D
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Comments (101)
percawesome 0
Yeah it looks so naked without it! :(
smexykero 0
I was wondering about that too. maybe op liked what happened.
percawesome 0
And you said: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" and then he cut your arm with a plastic lightsaber, right? Right?
UpsidedownKayak 9
Then he yelled, "That's impossible!" He jump into a trash shoot and waited for his sister to pick him up.
percawesome 0
How epic would it be to watch this go down in a star wars store... hahah
UpsidedownKayak 9
If The Empire Strikes Back theme was also playing at the exact time this went down, then Obie Wan's (the father's) failure would have been complete.
ArtOfDesire 7
Did anyone else notice that it doesn't end in "FML"?
DocBastard 40
Yes, vitorsaraiva, percawesome, and smexykero did. :)
trumpet27 1
it does, actually
Maravilla4 1
Hahahhahahahahaha!!!!! A least u know now.... #12 r u Steven Garcia
twilightluvr101 4
Are you from dumont.......
LemonStarship 5
Ahahaha
DakotaCat 4
****** your life is!
sculp91 0
haha your moms a hussy!!
jadedasian13 0
Truth?
talktomandybaby 8
omg.i never have met a grown man that would theirpicture with a justin bieber card board cut out...dude!! i love you!!!!
bladomas 2
i agree with #24 , FYL, and that means that your 'dad' ****** your mom instead of your 'stepdad'
RedPillSucks 33
Oh Lord. I don't think this is worded the way you meant it.
Arschloch04 0
Ahaha! I love the way you worded this.
savvyjiggly11 0
deuce, at least it was an epic way of telling you :)