Today, my dad called me for the first time in weeks. All he wanted to tell me was that Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place. Then he hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML
Today, I was out and was having a wonderful time. At exactly midnight, I get a call from my father. He's divorcing my mother. He's also going to Florida with his mistress for the weekend. If that wasn't the best news ever, he'd love if I found an apartment to live in ASAP. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML
Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
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Top comments
Jeffler 0
To be fair, thats awesome news.
JohnnyChris 0
he. probably used it as a reason to call u. that's cool that he thought of u. but he should go visit u instead.
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Comments (51)
redbluegreen 41
I don't think anyone really understands this FML. Haha. But I'm sorry your dad's such a douche.
brkn_hearted 0
i totally agree >:( what a douchebag! but lol sucks that he'd only call you for that :( i'd slap a ho!
perdix 31
And her sister Jessica got fat and dumped by Tony Romo. For a family that ruled the world a few short years ago, they sure had hit hard times. Not only do I agree with sammisolstice's assessment that Ashlee Simpson's face looks like a foot. but I also think she has no discernible talent. At least, Jessica sang pretty well.
JohnnyChris 0
he. probably used it as a reason to call u. that's cool that he thought of u. but he should go visit u instead.
blastvortex 4
A Melrose Place update!? That's awesome!? Okay... not really, but there's absolutely no way that you could convince me that this is an FML, mostly because it simply isn't. Try MLIA, genius.
NorfolkDude 2
Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place?
DieterDerBlau 0
Hey, did you know that Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place???? I didn't.
Cristaderzi 0
Awwww He probaly wanted to talk but upon hearing your voice he froze up! Poor fella. Some people have a hard time showing or expressing their feelings!!! especially boys and men whom are taught to be stoic,stone faced toughies!! Its sad really... Be patient hon hell ce around..
Cristaderzi 0
He will eventually come around I meant to day...
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
sammisolstice: SHUT YO MOUF! How can you possibly call Ashlee Simpson's face a foot?! Everyone knows that dubious honor can only rightfully belong to Sarah Jessica Parker. And this FML makes me glad that at least my dad calls to "check on my truck."
iHatemylife987 0
My dad bothered me at school to tell me Robert Pattinson was on OK magazine... So, i failed the state test.
brkn_hearted 0
damn :( it's always weird though to see an FML inside of an FML comment... sorry to hear that though
koolkat27 13
Robert Pattinson is ugly... just sayin