Miscellaneous: Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine... - FML

By T - 01/10/2010 09:09 - France

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 775

You deserved it 3 727

Another great day to be alive

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry that I made you cry

By chaoticnh - 24/06/2011 09:57 - Austria

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 151

You deserved it 12 594

By explodingpupppet - 30/09/2009 16:41 - United States

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 524

You deserved it 36 859

By anonymous - 29/08/2011 18:47 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 465

You deserved it 2 506

By offuckingcourse - 06/08/2013 05:07 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 567

You deserved it 20 240

By Clumsy - 04/08/2018 15:00

Today, while baby-proofing the stairs so that my toddler wouldn't fall, I slipped on his toy car, broke the brand new gate while grabbing it so I wouldn't fall down the stairs, and broke my wrist and a rib. My husband should mom-proof the house for me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 159

You deserved it 356

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 1 948

By well_f_u_too - 30/08/2018 03:30

Today, I took a night train for the first time. I woke up at 4 am to the beeping of smoke alarms and thick white smoke everywhere. The train had caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 991

You deserved it 161

By donezo - 26/06/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 343

You deserved it 3 719

Adding insult to injury

By Anonymous - 01/09/2021 13:01

Today, working on an ambulance, we had an elderly man who was obviously scared, so to get his mind off things I made small talk. When I went to ask if he was retired, it came out as, "so Steve, are you retarded?" My partner/supervisor across from me had tears running down her face from trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 183

One law for thee, another for me

By thanks a lot asshole - 26/09/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, I went to visit my father. His new wife has hoarded out our childhood home nearly to the point of it being unliveable. That’s pretty funny, considering my dad used to literally beat us if our rooms weren’t clean or we left dishes in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 326

My stupidity

By Anonymous - 13/11/2019 20:00

Today, I got my period and went clubbing. I had to change my tampon and stupidly I only brought one. When I unwrapped it, it fell on the floor. I had to wait in the womens' bathroom for 45 minutes for a random girl to give me a spare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 766

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 23:02 - Canada

Today, I wrote to the guy whom I am in love with how I feel about him. He was very calm and told me to give him some time to think it over. Later in the day, I found out he blocked my number and rejected me on facebook. But, the worse part is he then texted me saying "This is my reply". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 100

You deserved it 5 016

By everore - 25/12/2012 18:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 991

You deserved it 3 439

Not mine

By alerra - 20/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Baton Rouge

Spicy

Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 272

You deserved it 239

By boogery - 26/01/2015 19:17 - United States

Today, after putting a bag of dirty laundry in the laundry room to wait for an open washer, I came back to find a "free stuff" sign on all of my expensive jeans, new towels, and favorite sweatshirts. The bag was over half empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 629

You deserved it 13 475

By blabla - 28/10/2011 13:30 - Brazil

Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 264

You deserved it 12 956

By anonymous - 04/11/2014 06:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 715

You deserved it 3 532

By Anonymous - 02/02/2011 07:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I was pissed that I got a £60 parking ticket so rang my friend to rant about it. I then got pulled over by the cops for using my phone, and was fined £120. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 526

You deserved it 70 878

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 00:30 - Germany - Titisee-neustadt

Today, I'm the only grandchild who regularly visits, calls and runs errands for my grandparents, even though I live two hours away. I'm also their biggest disappointment because I'm not married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 880

You deserved it 1 609

By Brady - 30/04/2013 16:00 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 511

You deserved it 15 030

Regret…

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 20:01

Today, I searched my ex-boyfriend on Facebook while my husband slept. He recently got engaged. I regret everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 1 731

By Sorry - 02/10/2014 23:51 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, it's my birthday. I've spent most of it apologizing to my parents for the "hassle" of "having" to arrange a simple birthday dinner. Sorry I was born, guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 207

You deserved it 3 249

By valnaj1 - 25/12/2012 03:03 - Denmark - Vamdrup

Spicy

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 810

You deserved it 27 694

By Anonymous - 18/04/2015 16:45 - United States - Oakland

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 955

You deserved it 11 560

By sma93 - 17/12/2016 18:30 - United States - Baldwin

Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 665

You deserved it 576

Footloose

By Imnotfromhere - 16/06/2021 10:59

Today, my neighbor told me to stop pushing the elevator buttons and opening doors with my feet. I bitched him out, because he's been making a huge issue out of it for months. Right after, I realized I forgot my keys inside and he's the only person around that can let me in the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 1 677

By fuckedup - 13/11/2009 19:13 - Germany

Today, I found out that my mom called my boss informing him that I am a little behind on some college projects. She felt he should know that she fears I might not be able to graduate on the planned date. My boss had already offered me a permanent job. I may not get that job now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 936

You deserved it 3 055

By meh - 18/01/2012 05:21 - Canada

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 076

You deserved it 3 024

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 22:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 496

You deserved it 6 126

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 236

You deserved it 4 345

By xobeachbabi428ox - 18/07/2009 22:32 - United States

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 131

You deserved it 7 962

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 16:47 - Netherlands

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy''. Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 945

You deserved it 4 939

By not jacked - 20/04/2016 11:35 - United States - East Hartford

Spicy

Today, my friend spotted for me while I was lifting a barbell. He thought it would be hilarious to tickle my armpits as I lifted it all the way up. I can still taste vomit in my mouth and it hurts to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 080

You deserved it 1 541

By busmonster - 12/09/2015 00:32 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 126

You deserved it 22 297

Another birthday ruined

By Michael - 13/02/2021 09:30 - Australia - Southport

Today, my girlfriend of one year broke up with me because I started having PTSD induced night terrors. On my birthday as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 59

By Anonymous - 01/12/2017 01:30

Today, after a year of diet and rigorous exercise, I've still gained weight. Confused, I went to my doctor. Apparently I have a thyroid condition he forgot to mention, and therefore haven't been on medication for, thus causing weight gain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 857

You deserved it 239

Money, Ethan

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 08:01

Today, I felt like working out again since it’s been a while. When I was done and talking to my wife about how good I felt afterwards, my 3 year-old came and patted my stomach and said, "Baby in there, baby in there." Yes, I feel so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 134

Not everyone's cup of tea

By Anonymous - 26/10/2021 20:00

Today, I’ve noticed that my boyfriend gets progressively more short-tempered and grumpy as time goes on, until we get to the Friday before we drop my kids off at their dad's house, then for that weekend he’s downright happy, until we have to pick them up Sunday night then he starts getting grumpy again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 581

By Anonymous - 22/09/2014 17:41 - United States - Mckinney

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 496

You deserved it 3 083

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 906

You deserved it 26 175

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Friday 1 October 2010 17:13

let his other daughter take care of his future nursing home expenses

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Friday 1 October 2010 16:11

I'm sorry that he has turned out to be just a "sperm donor" rather than a Dad. The good thing is that you know about his character (or lack thereof) and can look to other people to provide the "fatherly" attributes he has failed to provide.

Comments

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Friday 1 October 2010 16:02

sorry op. that sucks

megamandude455 10

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Friday 1 October 2010 17:16

Steve Wilkos. no wait, JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY

cantfightfate 0

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Friday 1 October 2010 18:34

well you haven't spoken to him in 9 years. there's a chance he could have had more children in that time.

kidwiththehair12 0

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Friday 1 October 2010 21:20

FYL for not knowing it only takes 9 months for a child to be born op :(

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Saturday 2 October 2010 2:10

To all the people who blame the dad: Did you ever stop to think maybe they had a falling out, and she left? That maybe the contact was lost because she hurt him so badly, and that in trying to forget his pain him and her mother had at least one more child? Hello, come on people, not every "absent" father is the fathers fault! Op whatever the reason y'all haven't talked it's good that you made a step towards communication, don't worry about the "other" daughter. Enjoy your dad! =^_^=

iHOOT4Hooters 0

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Saturday 2 October 2010 3:05

Say, "Oh, well I almost forgot that I don't have a loving dad", and then hang up.

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Friday 1 October 2010 16:02

OMG sucks too be you

laughing_atyou 0

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Friday 1 October 2010 20:04

2-to*

junkusernamexyz 17

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Saturday 28 February 2015 17:31

Number two spelled to like too.

vballerlover07 0

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Friday 1 October 2010 16:02

that sucks. maybe you should have talked to him?

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Friday 1 October 2010 16:06

ouch. but why didn't you talk to him for 9 years....?

lionandthelamb61 9

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Friday 1 October 2010 16:06

your dad's a slut

JillianlikesVogu 0

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Friday 1 October 2010 18:23

Just because he has more than one daughter, he is a slut? No.

lionandthelamb61 9

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Friday 1 October 2010 18:59

No, because he can't even remember he has more than one daughter. He sleeps around enough to have children with different mothers and then abandons the responsibilities that come along with being a parent.

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Friday 1 October 2010 19:01

I interpreted it as he's slept around so much and consequently had enough children that he forgot about OP. It sort of makes me think OP is the first (or close to) born.

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Friday 1 October 2010 20:11

sounded to me like he had another daughter in those 9 years and didn't care to think about the other daughter who they had a falling out with

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Friday 1 October 2010 21:07

How dare he have more children! What a whore! I don't know the full story but my thoughts are there was possibly a divorce with her father leaving her and her mother and they lost contact and he started a new family, and forgot about the previous one.

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Friday 1 October 2010 23:11

I believe the correct term is man whore

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Friday 1 October 2010 16:07

ANOTHER daughter? well that sucks.

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Saturday 2 October 2010 9:04

nice quote integration there op

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Friday 1 October 2010 16:11

I'm sorry that he has turned out to be just a "sperm donor" rather than a Dad. The good thing is that you know about his character (or lack thereof) and can look to other people to provide the "fatherly" attributes he has failed to provide.

Send a private message

Friday 1 October 2010 16:14

YDI?

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Friday 1 October 2010 18:16

Jew.

RedPillSucks 31

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Friday 1 October 2010 18:54

WTF?

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Friday 1 October 2010 16:42

Your dad is a simmering bucket of putrid fail. You're better off without him.

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Friday 1 October 2010 17:13

let his other daughter take care of his future nursing home expenses

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 3

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 500

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 732