By Studying is for crazy people. - United States - Stockton Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML I agree, your life sucks 32545 You deserved it 3894 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blarp - United States Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML I agree, your life sucks 39524 You deserved it 2792 148 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hackling fellow Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML I agree, your life sucks 36831 You deserved it 4150 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By missedfistbump - United States Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML I agree, your life sucks 32544 You deserved it 8647 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By C0r1nn3 - United States - Santa Clara Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 28657 You deserved it 5033 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By looz - France Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up". I certainly wasn't aware. FML I agree, your life sucks 34621 You deserved it 2115 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kclopez Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML I agree, your life sucks 2300 You deserved it 4680 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I'm not blind Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML I agree, your life sucks 3719 You deserved it 524 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By menerethrr - United States Today, I sent my best friend Mike the link to a porn site we were talking about at a party. Turns out the name "Mom" is right next to "Mike" in my contacts list. FML I agree, your life sucks 15911 You deserved it 53146 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NightzGremlin - 12/9/2020 14:01 No sleep for the wicked Today, I came home from work to find construction workers repaving my street. I work the graveyard shift. FML I agree, your life sucks 1215 You deserved it 88 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 42305 You deserved it 3369 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Matt - United States Today, I realized that choosing to live in the honors dorms was a terrible mistake. Quiet hours start at 6 PM and the only exception is if you are a member of the university marching band, which means you can practice your instrument at anytime in the lounge... located next to my room. FML I agree, your life sucks 32036 You deserved it 4573 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shorty - Australia - Brisbane Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML I agree, your life sucks 57498 You deserved it 4406 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bibobobonnor - Canada Today, my dad gave me a football signed by my favourite football player. It would've been great, except that I saw my dad sign it in front of me. The worst part is that he denies doing it. FML I agree, your life sucks 31323 You deserved it 3243 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I can still feel it... - United States - Midlothian Today, my contact split completely in half at a wedding. Not only did I interrupt the vows with my scream of pain, but I was only able to fish out half of it. FML I agree, your life sucks 2750 You deserved it 259 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alainopotato - United States - San Diego Today, I woke up in a bathtub, completely soaked and covered in both mine and someone else's puke. Happy New Year. FML I agree, your life sucks 4399 You deserved it 5294 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Catpiss - United States - San Bernardino Today, I finished filling the pages in my passport. Also today, my mom's cat urinated on my backpack, soaking my passport with rancid pee. I have visas that last 10 years and can't be moved to a new passport, so I have to keep this nostril-burning booklet. FML I agree, your life sucks 4087 You deserved it 617 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By failfailfail - United Kingdom Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML I agree, your life sucks 10958 You deserved it 51310 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Denmark Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML I agree, your life sucks 33006 You deserved it 2809 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ThanksMum - United Kingdom Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML I agree, your life sucks 25491 You deserved it 2774 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DevilsTemptation - United Kingdom - Dundee Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML I agree, your life sucks 1574 You deserved it 115 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NaurLalaith Today, I bought an iPhone SE, so my mom decided to sell my old iPhone 5 on Craigslist. Since the 5 and SE look exactly the same, she ended up selling my SE instead of the 5 for $100. The buyer refuses to give it back. FML I agree, your life sucks 14913 You deserved it 2075 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By The hopeful Today, my ex-boyfriend called me. I was really excited, thinking he wanted to get back together. He just wanted to get back the Christmas present he gave me before we broke up so that he could return it for cash. FML I agree, your life sucks 9238 You deserved it 997 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By K_M - Malaysia Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML I agree, your life sucks 10226 You deserved it 75592 335 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sigh - United States Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML I agree, your life sucks 26581 You deserved it 2487 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ohshucks! - United States Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML I agree, your life sucks 29502 You deserved it 15494 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By therealkathl - Austria Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML I agree, your life sucks 39162 You deserved it 3406 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By krizleykrislo - United States Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML I agree, your life sucks 10196 You deserved it 63757 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oopsies - United States Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 27765 You deserved it 5405 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xBubbles38 - United States Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML I agree, your life sucks 43830 You deserved it 6250 532 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 33306 You deserved it 7970 171 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crazycatlady - United States Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML I agree, your life sucks 23279 You deserved it 18359 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia - United States - Yuba City Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML I agree, your life sucks 45128 You deserved it 5895 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML I agree, your life sucks 38101 You deserved it 2784 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bec - Australia Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML I agree, your life sucks 37318 You deserved it 3582 171 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DeepTaccer - United Kingdom Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic-Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up... out my left nostril. FML I agree, your life sucks 37999 You deserved it 6260 207 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Windstar - Canada Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML I agree, your life sucks 79697 You deserved it 7930 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/6/2020 02:01 The age-old story Today, the girl I’ve been crushing over for so long told me that I’m a great guy and a catch, but then went on to tell me all about the other guy she’s been sleeping with. FML. I agree, your life sucks 1315 You deserved it 206 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By titillating - United States Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML I agree, your life sucks 29804 You deserved it 4516 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Zebra - 30/12/2020 22:58 Happy Birthday to me Today, my sister was meant to come over for lunch for my birthday. Turns out, she forgot about it. FML I agree, your life sucks 745 You deserved it 50 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By billjoebob424 - Canada - Erin Today, I walked in on my younger cousin trying to find Minecraft porn. FML I agree, your life sucks 20563 You deserved it 1770 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By colton_colton | 49 #6125324 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:23 Well did you answer back atleast? 164 3 Reply
By hard_candy | 25 #6125331 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:25 i wonder what the cat was asking. Send a private message 100 2 Reply
By colton_colton | 49 #6125324 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:23 Well did you answer back atleast? 164 3 Reply
Reply PleasantDino | 22 #6125341 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:30 It'd be rude not to Send a private message 49 1 Reply
Reply incoherentrmblr | 21 #6125760 - Sunday 23 November 2014 4:45 ¿Tiene su gato leer la mente?... Send a private message 3 2 Reply
Reply kfchicken_fml | 28 #6126710 - Monday 24 November 2014 4:50 am I the only one who thought of puss and boots? Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Reply dannnngthatsux | 19 #6127873 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 21:41 Si. Yo estoy un gato es leen. Y escibe. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By 11up | 14 #6125327 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:23 That sounds pretty sweet to me! Plus it's extra studying Send a private message 12 15 Reply
By hard_candy | 25 #6125331 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:25 i wonder what the cat was asking. Send a private message 100 2 Reply
Reply iLike2Teabag | 27 #6125349 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:37 ¿Dónde está mi Meow Mix, señor? Send a private message 89 2 Reply
Reply ProfKowalski | 5 #6125504 - Saturday 22 November 2014 22:16 The cat was asking if OP was feline fine. Send a private message 25 1 Reply
Reply wanted_2_want | 40 #6125512 - Saturday 22 November 2014 22:37 The cat was asking if he was high or drunk.... Send a private message 1 8 Reply
Reply PleasantDino | 22 #6125659 - Sunday 23 November 2014 1:55 yo quiero taco bell? Send a private message 11 3 Reply
Reply RoboCunnilingus | 23 #6126671 - Monday 24 November 2014 4:09 I thumbed this up even though it was a dog who said that. We can't all hit homeruns and that was close enough for me. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Reply dannnngthatsux | 19 #6127874 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 21:42 No. Taco Bell es mucho mal. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By 19990231 | 29 #6125336 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:27 Sure that wasn't the brownies you had? 18 12 Reply
Reply Brandi_Faith | 33 #6125497 - Saturday 22 November 2014 21:58 I bet they were the "special" kind. Send a private message 3 13 Reply
Reply BbyGrrl95 | 7 #6356739 - Tuesday 21 July 2015 8:18 @26 you need to be more specific, all brownies are special Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By noobsatin | 19 #6125337 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:27 that's when you know you're doing a good job studying the material. Send a private message 35 3 Reply
By buckstop1 | 37 #6125339 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:28 You sure you were not just high? Send a private message 19 5 Reply
By DenverTyrrell | 13 #6125345 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:35 Did you answer? Your cat is just testing you :P Send a private message 11 5 Reply
By Rosebudx | 32 #6125348 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:36 Your cat was studying too. Why do you think they sleep on our textbooks all the time? Send a private message 32 2 Reply
Reply MrSassypants | 32 #6125428 - Saturday 22 November 2014 20:07 They absorb the information through their jelly bellies. Those rapscallions! Send a private message 8 2 Reply
By devildog562 | 33 #6125362 - Saturday 22 November 2014 18:50 El gato! Yo habla espanol. To quieres pescado¿ Send a private message 3 9 Reply
Reply buckstop1 | 37 #6125403 - Saturday 22 November 2014 19:35 El pescado es por scrubs. Send a private message 0 4 Reply
By miianah1 | 22 #6125376 - Saturday 22 November 2014 19:01 Are you crazy? We all knows cats can only speak French, and maybe Russian. Send a private message 21 1 Reply
Reply Ichiya | 29 #6125513 - Saturday 22 November 2014 22:39 The speak evil aka French. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I wore leggings without underwear. When I got in the car after a busy shopping day, I realized that my pubes had poked through the fabric and my... I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 426 2 Comments
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 846 You deserved it 65 4 Comments