Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML
Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML
Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
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Top comments
Stumblebum30 5
why is this a FML ?
Moeey 0
Aloha?
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Comments (69)
waywick 0
he was being nice - he didn't tell you the part about how you were an accident and how you tainted all their memories of that vacation
tme829 1
nothin like some good ol family history
skitzoyd 0
How is this an fml?
skitzoyd 0
And my friend was concieved on a kitchen table so that beats this story! Ha! Suck it!
nasat 0
and??? why is that an FML? it's not even funny it's just lame!
Kingjosh1992 4
so. not a big deal.
Miss_gord 0
tmi
adorkable1515 0
Same happened to me... Except my dad decided he needed to show the hotel in which it happened, and even pointed to where the room was...
maddie_lovesyou 0
haha there is nothing wrong with that I'd love to be born there
maddie_lovesyou 0
haha there is nothing wrong with that I'd love to be born there