Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML
Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML
Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
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Top comments
Stumblebum30 5
why is this a FML ?
Moeey 0
Aloha?
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Comments (69)
hunterjumper24 0
haha I like the persons username
TheWaaaaambulanc 0
Baaw, your parents told you where you were concieved. What's next, a FML over the sex-talk?
Thhe 0
were you expecting him to tell you where the stork dropped you off? dumbass. at least it was somewhere good. I get a 'made in new jersey' sticker
minenotyours 0
I was concieved there too! well I was also born there but that's beside the point. lol how is this an fml? I used to talk about stuff like that all the rime with my parental units...
minenotyours 0
by the way... yes the navy has a football team. it's the naval academy. their rival is the army. duh. lol
evilwaffles 0
Why is this an FML?
why_me_why_today 3
don't worry my mom told me i was the result of a bottle of vodka, a gas station condom, and a wends bathroom. and i mean wendys the fast food restaurant
tutugirl007 0
haha, EVERY christmas, my mom plays elvis... and then precedes to tell anyone around that i was concevied to this album... isnt that sweet... NOT! haha. yikes!! arent parents just the best!?
dochoc_fml 0
get over it
yooda_fml 0
better than tha couch you were sitting on..