Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML
Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML
Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
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Top comments
Stumblebum30 5
why is this a FML ?
Moeey 0
Aloha?
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Comments (69)
Laxloverr24 0
#18 and 23 I saw that yesterday! haha his real name is Orlando.
MissSparkie 0
i agree, where's the "so what" buttons. seriously, people have babies, sex makes babies, fact of life, my 5 year old knows that....
zack11289 3
25, are you really proud that your 5 year old knows about sex? You fail so hard as a parent. So much for your kids innocence
JoeNormal 0
my best friend's sister and 1 of my classmates cheered in that game... anyways thats to much info lol
omghehehe 0
Not a FML. That's actually sweet. You were made in Hawaii :)
dezzylovesyou 0
HAHAHAHA! That's not much of an FML, but it's funny. xD
mitch707 0
i before e except after c
pookela17 0
ha! i was at that game!
LaughAtLaugh 7
get over it, lots of worse things can happen
delfoxio 0
wow, your parents had sex before you were born. WHAT A SURPRISE!!! could've fooled me
Hotblonde2 0
dude this isn't that bad!