Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML
Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML
Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Today, I spent 2 hours making the perfect card for my dad for Father's Day. When I handed it to him, he smiled and said "Thank you" and then killed a fly with it. I found it in the trash a couple of hours later. FML
Today, I turned on my A/C for the first time in a couple of months. A family of ginormous cockroaches climbed out of the air vent and a few clumps of dead cockroaches fell to the ground. FML
Today, my dad and I went fishing. We both got a bite, but when we went to reel it in, both our hooks were in the catfish's mouth. He pushed me in the mud and took my hook out its mouth so he could say he caught it. FML
Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML
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Top comments
FlashBurn 13
I used to play with those as a kid... I was odd, lol. Use Boric Acid! They squirm in agony before they die. Then use the corpse as an example for other roaches who debate invading your place.
DontClickOnMe 28
Was the large metal pole necessary or was it just more fun that way? I'd hate to see a cockroach big enough that can only be killed with a large metal pole.
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Comments (82)
firefighterjohn 9
awwwwwwww
rubberduckie94 13
how the hell big was the roach it took two guys and a metal pole to kill it? How the hell big was it y'all felt bonded like the two of you had been through a horrific experience after it was dead? I would have paid fifty dollars to watch y'all in action.
SkoomaKi 28
Go golfing, that usually helps with bonding or even fishing!
AgaveLoco 5
Well. It's a good beginning
seriouslystop 1
Did you know, a cockroach can live up to 9 days after its head has been cut off?
KiddNYC1O 22
Haha. The more you know...
Dracoboxer357 36
56- Yup, and the only reason it dies from that is starvation, not for actually getting it's head severed. :p I always thought that was weird....
perdix 31
Did your mom wonder where her large metal pole went?
aileen15 15
Lmfaoo that's hilarious I literally laughed out loud
Crystal55621 19
I hope the roach wasn't in your house. If so, you guys are probably going to be bonding a lot more.
ihasbrains 10
Not a congratulations. If it were a female cockroach it could've released all it's eggs. Also, OP probably has to clean it off the floor now.
pervy_ninja 3
#ghettoprobs
Zachthejoker 10
That is sad