Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML
Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML
Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Today, I spent 2 hours making the perfect card for my dad for Father's Day. When I handed it to him, he smiled and said "Thank you" and then killed a fly with it. I found it in the trash a couple of hours later. FML
Today, I turned on my A/C for the first time in a couple of months. A family of ginormous cockroaches climbed out of the air vent and a few clumps of dead cockroaches fell to the ground. FML
Today, my dad and I went fishing. We both got a bite, but when we went to reel it in, both our hooks were in the catfish's mouth. He pushed me in the mud and took my hook out its mouth so he could say he caught it. FML
Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML
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Top comments
FlashBurn 13
I used to play with those as a kid... I was odd, lol. Use Boric Acid! They squirm in agony before they die. Then use the corpse as an example for other roaches who debate invading your place.
DontClickOnMe 28
Was the large metal pole necessary or was it just more fun that way? I'd hate to see a cockroach big enough that can only be killed with a large metal pole.
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Comments (82)
mugu 0
Well Psychopathy has been known to be genetic...
hnz 13
At least bond now than never! Since you like the bonding, why not catch more cockroaches and put it in your house to have more bonding! Or maybe birds as it require more teamwork! Last but not least, happy bonding
shayshayshazam 14
I'm sure you and I could have a bonding session using your pole ;)
aileen15 15
wtf?creeper/desperate much?....get a life seriously
shayshayshazam 14
Yeah because I was obviously extremely serious.
curlyfry33 8
^_^ lol it looks like two chicks getting into a fight, but im glad a pervy comment made it in here, those always make my day.
curlyfry33 8
Oh wait, look at 65s profile "I don't judge anyone" silly little hypocrite, your comment is incredibly judgemental
thejewishfuhrer 17
I believe congratulation are in order miss, for having a questioning first comment.
linkinpark98 24
Ahh, gotta love family bonding. :)
thiscrazything 1
I am wondering how big was the cockroach, that it took two people and a large metal pole to kill it.
Krirn 21
Error 404 Pun Not Found
mhopper 13
The family that kills together stays together :)
Ch0sen 13
That cockroach nobly gave its life so that you two could grow closer. Be grateful for its selfless sacrifice.
shuoq76 10
You should try and spend more time with your father but roach killing is a great start :D