Work: Today, my coworker thought it would be funny to throw my keys... - FML

By frmitalywithlove - 11/01/2011 04:11 - United States

Today, my coworker thought it would be funny to throw my keys up onto the top shelf in storage. I'm 4'10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 638

You deserved it 4 056

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Same thing different taste

By fucking teen cunts - 27/01/2013 21:59 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 098

You deserved it 2 517

By Anonymous - 30/09/2010 02:57 - United States

Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 574

You deserved it 26 230

By Baikal - 12/05/2013 04:09 - Singapore

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 011

You deserved it 3 622

No joking allowed

By TecheyTim - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Latham

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' prank on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 522

You deserved it 11 999

By lions214 - 11/01/2012 01:40 - United States

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 392

You deserved it 2 930

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 02:02

Today, some asshat thought it would be funny to put a second lock on my locker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 145

By Dumped - 06/04/2017 14:00

Today, at work, I went to place a small item on a shelf. The shelf fell on me, trapping my hand. While lifting it, the top shelf fell against my chest and the products all dumped on my face. I then realized the shelves were only held up by zip ties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 841

You deserved it 350

By mini matthylde - 19/11/2015 09:57 - France - Nantes

Today, I'm 4ft9 "tall" and I always have trouble reaching things that are high up. It's my birthday, and I got three footstools as gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 210

You deserved it 3 002

By phansmootchie - 20/12/2011 08:14 - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 302

You deserved it 37 437

It's always in the most obvious place

By Anonymous - 27/02/2023 14:00

Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 177

Next

Top comments

SARSvirus79 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 9:14

So you're fun-sized? :-P Your coworker sounds like a douche.

AKskier1 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 9:08

in short too. it's all goods

Comments

MLuckyCapoeirist 6

Tuesday 11 January 2011 18:52

I saw a FML a bit too similar on the french counterpart... It went like : "Today, my students who like making fun of my small height, wrote at the top of the blackboard, Erase me if you can"

dt520 4

Tuesday 11 January 2011 19:54

at least short chicks are hot

l0lkitteh 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 20:05

Hide his keys under your desk. He will not get them out without suffering a discus prolapse ;)

hideyoself 4

Tuesday 11 January 2011 20:22

Im 6'5 :D

HomeAl0ne 20

Tuesday 11 January 2011 20:51

Just get someone to dwarf-toss you up there to get them.

oh_hi_92 1

Tuesday 11 January 2011 22:34

Nobody tosses a dwarf.

ecascio2010 9

Wednesday 12 January 2011 2:07

you should have said " ha, you know what else is funny?" and kicked them in the groin area.

JanisEvans 10

Wednesday 12 January 2011 20:12

Kicking could get tricky... Punching perhaps?

PincheLeti 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 2:39

Ahh i know how you feel when people do that,put stuff in higher places. Im 4'11

soccerjb7 1

Wednesday 12 January 2011 3:19

4'10"? my brother is 4'10"... and he's an 8 eight year old

123_omg 19

Wednesday 12 January 2011 4:38

i feel your pain. I'm half an inch taller than you. All of my tall friends use my shoulder (or head) as an arm rest.

dirtdude19 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 6:47

Haha I'm 5'2

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Keywords

Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Birthday Family Money Gifts Mother in law Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, my cat tried to look out my bedroom window. To do so, she tried to stand on my air conditioner. She was unsuccessful in that endeavor, almost knocking my TV over and fucking up the side panel. Now there's an opening in my window that I can't close up. Guess I'll take the AC out and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 91

Today, I got a secondhand message from my mother to not jerk off so much. I know it’s secondhand because my wife says the same thing. They’re in cahoots and lie to one another: mom just wants grandkids, and my wife doesn’t want a smile on my face she didn’t put there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 511

The Top

Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 919

You deserved it 6 861

Today, I became the center of attraction of my office floor after sending my resumé to my work Whatsapp group, asking them to share with their friends for job openings. My VP is owner of the group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 704

You deserved it 6 047

Today, I found out my son's girlfriend is actually a webcam porn star he pays for private sessions. He’s somehow convinced himself they have a real relationship, and is spending thousands of pounds every week, on his credit card I may add. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 387

You deserved it 264

Today, I went through the car wash my boyfriend works at. When I pulled in, I explained I was Greg's girlfriend and cutely asked if I could get a free car wash. His co-worker looked at me confused and said, "Greg said he didn't have a girlfriend", then he looked at me and said, "Now I know why." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 108

You deserved it 12 461

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said, "What are you, babysitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on a giraffe, yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 296

You deserved it 12 736

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 052

You deserved it 2 881