You madam, are awesome! XD

Where's Stanley Steamer when you need 'em...

Several years ago I got ill on holiday, walked into the bathroom door whilst half asleep and threw up all over it. My sister called my mum saying "Happy birthday mum, Zabrina's just been sick, come and clean it up.". D:

OP should feel lucky to have such a thoughtful dog :)

Plot twist - OP doesn't have a dog...

Why not? He's the one who saw it and was hopefully aware it was op's birthday. Kind of rude to wake someone up for that when he could have just picked it up himself.

Depends. I know when I got a pet my parents told me any mess was mine to clean up. But usually its kinder to just pick it up yourself

I agree if it's op's pet they should take care of it. Just rude the way the dad handled it in my opinion.

I'm pretty sure this was sarcasm

Seriously though, how many parents are throwing surprise parties or getting the birthday guy up at 5 am to say happy birthday and give presents? I'm confused as to why you thought they'd be doing that at 5 am. Do they usually wake you up that early to celebrate? I also understand the dad wanting you to clean it up. My dad doesn't like dogs, but got me one for my birthday and the dog is completely my responsibility. If the dog crapped on the floor and he saw it while getting ready for work, he'd probably call me to come get it too. Although he'd say happy birthday and give me a hug and kiss first. But I don't think he could bring himself to clean it up even if it was my birthday, he just really dislikes the messes dogs make, and plus he'd be in his suit all ready to go to work.

Maybe it's actually dad shit, that's how committed he is to his plan