Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cousin wanted to play chess with me. I've never been good at chess, but I had no idea until now that my cousin is somehow even worse than I am. I also forgot that he's a sore loser and a half until after I finished thoroughly trouncing him. Now I have a black eye. FML
Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Today, I dreamt I wet my pants in front of everyone. It wasn’t a dream. A toddler laughed at me. FML
Today, my little 7 and 6 year-old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied, "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML
Today, I visited with my cousin on her deathbed. When I asked what she was doing, they replied that she was sleeping. Next thing out my mouth without thinking was, "She can sleep when she's dead." FML
Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML
Today, my mom and I were looking at pictures from the beach. She goes, "That is a REALLY ugly picture of Michelle" (my cousin). The picture was of me. FML
Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML
Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML
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Top comments
aback 5
So tell your cousin you dreamed s/he was eaten by spiders. And his/her parents were glad.
genius_man16 1
Um, so the **** what? It's a dream. Stop getting your ******* panties in a bunch.
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Comments (91)
Paige_Nicole10 0
hm sure are a lot of little cousins talking about someone being ugly
anonymous567 1
mods suck at their job, this is NOT an FML
saze_fml 0
This site needs a "who gives a ****?" button
mc0carrie 0
It doesn't exactly mean your ugly. dreams are weird
littlegolferboy 4
I have never wanted a "Who Cares" button more than I do right now.
abetterday 4
hahahahahahahahahahahaa!
Rota 0
The moderators need to be lynched for letting this shit through.
dummydory 4
Who cares!!! It was just a stupid dream!!
mrlucky4444 0
You got owned by ur cousin
isaysummer 0
This was a dream so what difference does it make? Also, that doesn't mean you're ugly or whatever. Maybe there were some really gorgeous people in there. Either way, this is a "who cares"