Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML
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Top comments
Ctrl_H 18
He's that good huh?
jizzwold 21
Never has a tissue been so desired.
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Comments (118)
jizzwold 21
Never has a tissue been so desired.
Catkam623 27
Is it just me or does anybody else think she should get that checked out. I don't know about you but I don't start copiously bleeding at random times like that.
lndala 15
I often bleed randomly. It's not as uncommon as you might think but maybe OP should get it checked out.
JACKxRAWR 22
I occasionally get random and pretty profuse nosebleeds (maybe once a year). It's surprisingly common. My last one happened just before a surprise quiz in one of my A-Level classes and stopped just after the quiz finished. :D
Ki11erC 18
Can be as little as pressure changes that set some people off.
SynysterNero 20
If she has bad allergies then an occasional nose bleed from irritation would be common.
kittycat1597 10
Random nose bleeds seem to happen to me when the air is too dry
JACKxRAWR 22
We should all start a random nosebleed gang.
Original_Outcast 23
In Japan it is believed that when you're turned on your nose bleeds.
chimocho 8
I get random nosebleeds all the time. Doesn't take much. A change in temp or humidity and I'm suddenly bleeding everywhere. It sucks, but medically theres nothing wrong with me.
Ctrl_H 18
He's that good huh?
_GoodGuy 11
Did she happen to say, "Bloody hell." When she woke up?
Catkam623 27
*he really nose how to get her wet.
jessie1 9
Let's just get something straight. You said that you thought it was snot, but you still didn't hesitate to wipe it ON HIS NECK AND SHEETS? Gross. (side note: who even has silk sheets apart from pimps and "ladies' men"?)
bootytoo 14
102 she wiped it on her arm not his neck and sheets.
jessie1 9
Really bootytoo? Because she later said that it was all over his neck and sheets. Which leads me to wonder how it got there? I mean, theres only so many places your forearm can reach
challan 19
How much snot did you think you were producing? The blood is bad, but I think he would have been even more grossed out being slimed like that. Invest in tissues OP.
lilhellian 27
Hell, blood even smell and feels different.
challan 19
If that much was coming out, she couldn't smell anything.
malheartsnutmeg 20
#43, not always. I use to get random nosebleeds, and on a few occasions I've been in bed and whipped my hand across my nose only to find I'd bled over my pillow. If the OP gets frequent nosebleeds they might not notice the smell.
Rianokami 22
Life happens. If he cares, it won't mean a thing in the long run, and will help clean up and take care of you.
JFloUnknown 24
Still a better blood story than twilight.
AHappyGoth 14
I'm GUSHING that must have killed the moment anyway. Anyone? No? Okay. . .
AHappyGoth 14
#12 That was kind of the point of the lame pun.
JACKxRAWR 22
#16, you overdid the lame pun. You're not getting thumbed down because people didn't get it, you're getting thumbed down because it wasn't funny.
TrueStoryFolks 17
Turn off your phone or computer, and eat a Snickers. You try to make bad jokes when your hungry.
grahmagog 14
Moment ruined i guess?
Bakarra 22
Unless the boyfriend is secretly a vampire, yes the moment was ruined...
laden_swallow09 35
Or a mosquito… or a leech…
Bakarra 22
Or a hematomaniac..............
cmb8280 24
Nice word!!
Mr_Satan 11
mhe, it washes off, save for the sheets, which are easy enough to replace... sorry bout the lost moment though, damn good mood-killer right there.
spazz666 18
Silk sheets... Might be easy to replace, but they can get expensive.
Mr_Satan 11
True, but that's a risk you take when you buy anything expensive.
WeskersSexslave 15
lets the just say blood doesn't always wash off ..sometimes it leaves a permanent stain D:
eddeeezzyy 19
"Oxi-Clean! It gets the touch stains out!!" - Billy Mays
sleepRX 16
and Billy definitely knew a thing or two about bloody noses...
Zebediabolical 45
... and that's how people end up starting to sniff OxyContin.
eddeeezzyy 19
It's ironic that you say that, 57, cuz I was cleaning out an apartment unit that my dad owns in which the former tenants were users and dealers, and I found at least a dozen bottles full of OxyContin. Pretty crazy if you ask me lol
truth_teller23 11
That story would be so much better if someone actually cared.
ZeeBest86 6
your nose got its period..
NessieMonster188 17
This is exactly why I hate being hemophobic.
monnanon 14
do you mean heamophobic as in you are scared of blood?
NessieMonster188 17
Yes, there are a few variations of that word and how it's spelled, and in my case we spell it like how I put above
perdix 31
#28, sometimes I wish there was a Google. Poof! Wow, look there it is! It's nice when I get my wishes.
RedPillSucks 33
Could be worse. Try hemophiliac
perdix 31
#66, wouldn't that be someone who loves blood? Hey, maybe I'll check that Google thing I wished for. While I'm gone, talk amongst yourselves.
Stefanie88 24
a hemophiliac is when they can bleed to death from a small wound because their blood won't clot.
perdix 31
#78, thanks, but I already knew that without even Googling it. It's just funny that when you think of it alongside the word "hemophobia" ("haemophobia"), it appears like someone who really loves blood.