Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got punched after telling my 11-year-old cousin that her period is "coming for her." FML
Today, I was babysitting my four year-old cousin when she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, and she responded, “Oh. That makes sense.” I’ve been emotionally defeated by someone whose favorite word is “poop.” FML
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I babysat our neighbors' 10 year-old. After a while, he challenged us to a pillow fight. I opted out, but she accepted. I went to use the bathroom and I came back to find her face down on the floor, as he sat on her back bashing a pillow against her head. What the hell did I miss? FML
Today, my uncle picked up a tissue box and threw it at my sister for fun. My sister got mad and yeeted the box at me. I reacted with the same action, but she lost her crap and kicked and punched me. When I reported the incident to my parents, I get berated and my sister got away with it. FML
Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML
Today, my 8 year-old little sister said, "F*** you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said, "Gotcha, bitch." FML
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I'm guessing she got it 100% right. The good news is the hard truth just cost one pillow toss and not a string of rejections and restraining orders.
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Comments (1)
RichardPencil 32
I'm guessing she got it 100% right. The good news is the hard truth just cost one pillow toss and not a string of rejections and restraining orders.