Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my cousin wanted to play chess with me. I've never been good at chess, but I had no idea until now that my cousin is somehow even worse than I am. I also forgot that he's a sore loser and a half until after I finished thoroughly trouncing him. Now I have a black eye. FML
Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Today, I dreamt I wet my pants in front of everyone. It wasn’t a dream. A toddler laughed at me. FML
Today, my little 7 and 6 year-old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied, "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML
Today, I visited with my cousin on her deathbed. When I asked what she was doing, they replied that she was sleeping. Next thing out my mouth without thinking was, "She can sleep when she's dead." FML
Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML
Today, my mom and I were looking at pictures from the beach. She goes, "That is a REALLY ugly picture of Michelle" (my cousin). The picture was of me. FML
Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML
Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML
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Top comments
aback 5
So tell your cousin you dreamed s/he was eaten by spiders. And his/her parents were glad.
genius_man16 1
Um, so the **** what? It's a dream. Stop getting your ******* panties in a bunch.
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Comments (91)
irockmyworld 0
maybe to some people like the OP, dreams actually mean something. and maybe it doesnt matter that its her little cousin or her 90yr old grandpa who had the dream. just cause it means nothing to you doesnt mean no one else can get affected by it right
timtam24 0
No what i mean is just because someone has a dream that your ugly doesn't mean you are. jesus...
irockmyworld 0
i dont think she thinks shes ugly just cause of the dream. she's just bothered by the fact that her little cousin had such a dream about her.
timtam24 0
as if her cousin can help what they dream about. And it doesn't mean that's what they think about her
irockmyworld 0
like i said it doesnt matter to you or to me. but it does to her. some people are different. not everyones you
timtam24 0
whatever, her reasoning for it affecting her is unnecessary.
irockmyworld 0
this is about her. not about whether some stupid dream might affect you or not. its about the dream and how she felt hearing about it. end of story. you cant go around telling people what to feel and what not to feel and whats necessary and whats not necessary. just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesnt mean she does too.
SaintJimmy 0
I once had a dream that I was in a magic junkyard where if you put a plant there while it was raining it would grow a meter tall overnight and then I walked around and there were plants everywhere then I found a giant pizza and I lifted up the cheese and there were two people having sex inside of the pizza.
abetterday 4
ahaha that was amazingg. This is the earliest dream i can remember: I was in my crib with three giant ladybugs. They were very dirty and i wanted them to go away but they didn't. The end lol
9az00 0
I would have razzed your cousin for using poor grammer...but seriously, it's a ******* dream. At least your cousin thinks about you ;p
BeeSkwaird 0
Grammer?
AAAAHHHH12 2
Exactly. It's grammar. What's 'grammer' anyway?
evanedwards85 6
"You lost badly" is actually correct grammar. If u think "you lost bad" is correct grammar you're stupid. I think you're so dumb, and you have been using incorrect grammar for so long when it's written correctly it looks odd to you.
tinyphreak 0
Terrible FML.
thelonelylurker 0
**** Your Life for this? The fail is strong in this one.
xkaitlinwhitex 0
at least no one brought up their naughty dreams.
cataelophobia 1
since when do all of the comments on fmylife say 'STFU YOU TITTY BABY!'?
xoxoqueen 0
FYL?? No!! this is now a fml just because ur little cousin said u badly lost IN HER DREAMS!!!
a_cad_1 0
In the dream did you beat or get beaten by "ugly betty"?
shortyshort 0
Thishappenedtomebeforeandmykeyboardspacebarisbroke!