Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that "team building exercise" really means free labor with no snacks. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML
Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML
Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML
Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML
Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML
Today, I got invited to a cookout. The host apologized as I got there because the hamburger meat had gone bad, and all they had were hot dogs, which I can't eat because they give me the runs. It was either that or starve, because I don't get paid until tomorrow. I wrote this on my ninth trip to the can this evening. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
karatekid97 17
To get him back I would've thrown up all over him and/or his car.
omfg_creepers 8
ITS A TRAP!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
poopsi 19
Well, at least you can work off the BBQ now.. Ehm.. There's a bright side to everything aye?..
onorexveritas 24
that's just cruel
mollyjbear23 10
He should've done them too!
Eaglestrike117 29
Captain Sobel? I'm gonna go watch Band of Brothers again.
Sionnach 10
Hi-ho Silver!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Your coach sounds like a psychopath
m3lyc 18
Just be glad it wasn't Spaghetti Bolognese.
JDCH_99 10
Our swim coaches used to give us a mid-season workout for the first practice of the year following the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend (early October). About half the people left the pool to barf on the first day.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
That's evil.
skyeyez9 25
Now you know to decline future invitations to his dinner parties.
zackikazee42 4
Fire the coach