Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that "team building exercise" really means free labor with no snacks. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML
Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML
Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML
Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML
Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML
Today, I got invited to a cookout. The host apologized as I got there because the hamburger meat had gone bad, and all they had were hot dogs, which I can't eat because they give me the runs. It was either that or starve, because I don't get paid until tomorrow. I wrote this on my ninth trip to the can this evening. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
karatekid97 17
To get him back I would've thrown up all over him and/or his car.
omfg_creepers 8
ITS A TRAP!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
AkatsukiJonny 10
College football practice? My friend told me a story very similar to that from when he was in college on the football team.
xs4u 13
are you sure he is a certified coach? working out after a heavy meal couls lead to serious complications... that guy endangered u all...
mackischillin 5
Yes, because eating a lot of good and then running relays could cause serious injuries or even death! Yeah no.
andyyroxx 20
40- Are you stupid? It can, you obviously don't know **** all about what you're saying.
junkman6 22
Yeah bro this one time I heard a story about my sisters boyfriends cousin who died cuz he ran after eating!!!! Don't mind that coaches and the military have been using this method of training to toughen the mind and body for decades.
guitarman1400 3
#40 you are either a troll or a dumbass who has never intensely worked out with a full stomach. Having a full stomach of undigested food(especially meat) is like a huge rock in your stomach, and you can imagine what throwing a rock into a dryer would do. If the conditions are right it can cause serious complications and although it may be rare even death. The heart can be most affected because a lot of the body's blood and energy are focusing on digesting the food so doing intense cardio can really screw with the heart on a full stomach.
Hamz1989 13
Go ahead and work out then voluntarily puke on that a***hole of a coach.
YepThatsMeee 23
I would have just walked off. And unless you're all *******, others would have followed. Mean, lying coaches don't deserve respect - especially as working out after a full meal is a really bad idea.
joeyl2008 29
Exactly. Unless you have a scholarship for that sport the worst thing that will happen is you get kicked off the team.
sporty_14 5
what a dick!
emeraldisle 30
Troll coach strikes again.
ni0ve 9
never trust a coach
lowshadows 21
Now that's how its done!! what a waste of good BBQ though.
akiahara 14
I hope someone spewed in his shoe. Or hat. Or bag, so he could discover it after it had time to soak.
SpankyRaven 31
Perfect revenge.
FlashBurn 13
And this is where a lack of gluttonous tendencies goes wonderful! I mean I don't stuff my face at all. Was it a vomit fest?!