Health: Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to...

By Anonymous - 04/03/2013 22:24 - United States

Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 391

You deserved it 4 857

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Are you colourblind?

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 22:00

Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 686

By Anonymous - 27/08/2013 18:39 - United States - East Northport

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 974

You deserved it 5 196

By Sam - 30/10/2008 14:51 - Canada

Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 217

You deserved it 30 775

Well played

By FUCK THE PIGS - 26/01/2013 20:44 - United States - Oakland

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 548

You deserved it 4 174

By jj - 07/11/2014 05:47 - Australia - Windermere Park

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 098

You deserved it 3 357

By Anonymous - 04/09/2013 17:28 - United States - Dell Rapids

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 138

You deserved it 7 259

By bhnja_ - 18/04/2013 20:34 - Philippines - Mandaue

Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 387

You deserved it 3 858

By Anonymous - 02/01/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 846

You deserved it 3 476

Cooked out

By Anonymous - 22/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I got invited to a cookout. The host apologized as I got there because the hamburger meat had gone bad, and all they had were hot dogs, which I can't eat because they give me the runs. It was either that or starve, because I don't get paid until tomorrow. I wrote this on my ninth trip to the can this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 186

By blue. - 19/05/2011 23:32

Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 217

You deserved it 3 456

karatekid97 17

Tuesday 5 March 2013 0:50

To get him back I would've thrown up all over him and/or his car.

omfg_creepers 8

Tuesday 5 March 2013 0:51

ITS A TRAP!!!

Comments

TKA2012 6

Wednesday 6 March 2013 22:37

You always feel that false sense of security before the worst comes to past

Lvl_8 7

Monday 11 March 2013 15:48

-6 Stamina

Eaglestrike117 29

Wednesday 13 March 2013 22:00

You'll get him back one day. One day.

Landowner 8

Thursday 21 March 2013 3:00

That is an awesome fakeout! haha

ttREZZ 1

Tuesday 30 July 2013 5:37

I feel you bro. That'd suck so bad

missd420 16

Saturday 31 August 2013 0:07

Oh my peaches my stomach hurts just thinking about that. I made the mistake of doing zumba after a big family dinner. Ugh! FYL

bigred6693 12

Monday 3 August 2015 20:32

I hope one or all of you threw up on him...

Keywords

Management Work Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Mother in law Gifts Family Money Birthday Education Parents Public freakouts Pranks Students Exams Weird Love Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, according to my husband, if I die first he won’t be looking after my son from a previous marriage. Either my sister will have to take him or he’ll go into foster care. He doesn’t want kids of his own, so he’ll be dammed if he has to look after someone else’s just because I’m dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 503

You deserved it 946

Today, after waiting two weeks for an email with my online textbook access code, it still hadn't arrived in time for my quiz tomorrow, so I ended up spending most of my money on the expensive physical copy. Not long after I got back home, the email finally arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 204

You deserved it 5 035

The Top

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill on the floor and my dog ate it. The good news is, I startled her and she spit it right out. The bad news is, I still had to take it after it had been in my dog's mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 934

You deserved it 19 699

Today, I asked my landlady if she could fix the air conditioner that's been broken since I moved in. Instead, she came round and took away my bathroom mirror, along with all the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 595

You deserved it 2 253

Today, I was on the train next to an elderly woman. When I told her it was my stop, she turned her knees towards the aisle, and I, thinking that she was letting me go by, began to edge past. She screamed, "DON'T PUSH ME!" and the whole train turned to look. I was thus the asshole pushing the old lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 114

You deserved it 1 688

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 294

You deserved it 3 867

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 798

You deserved it 12 741

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 983

You deserved it 2 610

Same thing different taste

Are you colourblind?

Well played

Cooked out

Top comments

Comments