Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that "team building exercise" really means free labor with no snacks. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML
Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML
Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML
Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML
Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML
Today, I got invited to a cookout. The host apologized as I got there because the hamburger meat had gone bad, and all they had were hot dogs, which I can't eat because they give me the runs. It was either that or starve, because I don't get paid until tomorrow. I wrote this on my ninth trip to the can this evening. FML
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Top comments
karatekid97 17
To get him back I would've thrown up all over him and/or his car.
omfg_creepers 8
ITS A TRAP!!!
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Comments (98)
gracehi 33
You gained weight, and then immediately lost it all! What an amazing and effective workout!
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Congrats op you're on your way to bulimia (sorry don't know how too spell it)
Axipiter 24
I'm sorry, I just have to. I fully understand that it may have been a typo, but you spelled "bulimia" better than you spelled "to".
AKGirlinSD 20
Haha at 34's comment. I was thinking the same thing. Maybe the coach. Imagine when it gets out of control and the players are too weak to play.
lambda_fml 40
#75 You're replying to the wrong comment, ma'am.
noelasis94 18
That prankster what a guy if only we were all that way that's sarcasm for some and seriousness for others now thank you may i have another?
gc327072 31
Grammatica 12:2 "…and then God said, thou shalt not have run on sentences."
noelasis94 18
Or he's not real and doesn't care
laden_swallow09 35
Don't get pissy because you can't make any sense.
greenie213 23
Or maybe he IS real. Though he could probably care less about grammar.
Axipiter 24
But most of us mere mortals do. And to those that don't, I say "Pshaw!"
eyesmile27 7
Maybe he did it to fill you up with proteins and then quickly put it to good use so you can achieve victory at your next game.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
It would be a waste of proteins, since more than likely everybody not only puked it all back up, but they'd probably feel worse than when they started...
KhatKat13 4
The body wouldn't have even made any use of the proteins by that point. and even if they did, the body uses energy in sports, not proteins, so he would need to carbload them, and even then, he needs to do it about 2 hours before a practice/workout/game.
Lionesse 15
This could turn into a throw up chain reaction fest. Once one person heaves, it's all over.
hama806 19
And so he shouldn't be pissed if you puke all over his sneakers. I'm nauseous just thinking about it.
profligatesoul 18
We've all had those coaches. Good luck keeping it down.
karlcolt45 19
currahee anybody?
ashleyek 7
That's what I thought of when I read this FML. Sounds like something straight out of Band of Brothers, only high-school style.
obviousboy 8
I don't know if I've ever eaten so much that I couldn't exercise afterwards. Perhaps that's why I'm not overweight. :P
greenie213 23
Either you've never had a full meal, or you don't know the true meaning of the word exercise.
node_fml 5
Too much anything even water will come back up if you push yourself too far.
whY402Jay 12
Anyone throw up?
Eaglestrike117 29
Most probably.
buckdharma 38
Is this a swim team? Because if this is a swim team, I'm imagining a really repulsive medley.