Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML
Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to quit my job after being tortured by my boss for months. My boss responded by throwing a hardcover textbook at me and hitting me in the face. FML
Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Talk to another manager who isn't a bitch like her. That's ****** up. She should be fired for that.
cjlerch 29
I'm pretty sure that's assault. If you report that, she'll almost certainly be fired.
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Comments (85)
Ksweety_fml 27
What a total bitch!
nemcali 34
Sorry but if you do not do anything about it, then you deserve it! File for assault and considered her words possibly abuse of power. Talk to her supervisor. She'll be fired
Slaught000 9
File a police report. It will **** her over hard, you won't even have to do anything, the pigs will do all of the work for you. When your company asks why you didn't go to HR, say she threatened you and you feared for your safety and job. You are in a position to bend everyone over.
GoodOptions 12
#30, you sound like a real shit head . Why do you think it's ok to call people who risk everything to protect you, "pigs"? I imagine you to be one of those people who talks an enormous amount of shit, then when things go differently than you had anticipated, you probably couldn't dial those "pigs" phone number fast enough. I mean, you basically confirmed my belief since you said that the "pigs" would do all the work for you.
Neesalun 20
Go to corporate.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Being the HR manager doesn't mean she is above the law. Take it to corporate or her manager, or file a report to the police. You can totally get her for that, it's plain assault.
Axel5238 29
Is the head of HR a hammer brother/sister? I know people do dumbs stuff, but this just sounds unlikely. Then what do you expect most of the incoming fmls around people crapping their pants or being walked in on during sex. This sight should be renamed stop doing dumb shit.
timmeeeee 10
Go watch horrible bosses. plot revenge :p
fader48080 10
take it up with the police and a lawyer.
RA91 26
Ô.Ô exactly what lead up to this happening??
Hauclir 14
I feel for you. My HR is just as terrible as a person.