Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML
Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to quit my job after being tortured by my boss for months. My boss responded by throwing a hardcover textbook at me and hitting me in the face. FML
Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Talk to another manager who isn't a bitch like her. That's ****** up. She should be fired for that.
cjlerch 29
I'm pretty sure that's assault. If you report that, she'll almost certainly be fired.
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Comments (85)
Algorithm 24
There's a special place in hell for shitty coworkers who ruin an otherwise good job, somewhere between people who don't use their turn signal and people who eat the last of something then put the empty box back in the cabinet.
sturschaedel 27
Sounds like you have a smashing work relationship!
keiNan_fml 35
report it to the higher authority and make that bitch pay for it..
ldkindasucks 6
Time to take that rubber mallet up to HR! But in all seriousness, if it's a workplace injury, you need to make a report, and you can full well say it was her who did it. HR doesn't deal with work injuries, so it'll find it's way to someone higher than her.
herrsmit 2
You don't need HR for this, a higher authority like your boss is the way to go. Also, this sounds like something a lawyer can use
LexiDaBae 17
HR is higher than OP's boss.
devildog562 33
Tell her to take it up with a lawyer. I'm usually against suing for things but this is an exception .
alybears1997 1
Well luckily, you have two tort cases. Battery and Assault. Bring it up with the police and get a lawyer (even a new one should be able to handle a case this simple) and a more experienced lawyer to deal with the company
worldclassrager 41
And so what was her response when you took if up with her
zachhhhhh 3
How about instead of you taking it up with HR you take it up with the ******* police.. That woman just assaulted you....
teyyoshi 19
what does take it up with HR mean？I cant look it up
Lily_Rain77 25
human resourses, they're usualy who you conplain about your co-workers too....