Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML - FML

By Daryll - 22/1/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

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The best cat

You snooze, you lose

A beautiful truck decoration

By unholy shit - 23/1/2012 22:33 - United States

Today, my parents boarded the fad wagon and became Juggalos. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 00:49 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

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By fuckkkkk - 17/5/2015 06:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after getting my dream job and quitting old one, I was told my position is strictly "experimental" and will only last 2 months. FML

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By Sorry Not Sorry - 1/11/2016 14:01

Today, my boss bitched me out for a customer complaint. The complaint was me not laughing at the customer's joke of me asking for his ID and him saying no. I'm sorry, I've been getting this joke a least twice a day since I started working here two years ago. FML

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By :| - 25/4/2012 18:46 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/9/2019 12:04

This ain't gonna end well

Today, my partner of 5 years and I sat down to talk because I expressed hope for a proposal in near future. He instead believed that we should wait, and talk about a potential future for us in another two years. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/9/2010 04:10 - France

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/12/2011 00:40 - United States

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 17:20 - United States - Tacoma

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/11/2011 01:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML

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By Nick - 13/5/2009 22:20 - United States

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 22:34 - United States

Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML

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By Momo8612 - 21/4/2017 12:00

Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML

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By Anonymous - 26/6/2019 06:13 - Canada - Vaudreuil

Be careful what you post on the Internet…

Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days-old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML

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By GrandmasWhore - 4/4/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/2/2011 16:04 - United States

Today, I had to spend all of my money on textbooks even though my refrigerator is empty. Starving and frustrated, I called home to ask for money for groceries. My mom told me I could afford to skip a few meals. FML

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By SmittyJA24 - 20/5/2014 02:38 - United States - Lewiston

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/8/2011 18:21 - United States

Today, I got a mass text message from a friend saying she's sorry she can't meet up with our group of friends for drinks because she's busy tonight. This is the first I've heard of any bar-crawling. FML

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By Vermont? - 22/2/2017 05:00 - United States

Today, in my AP U.S. history class, we had a very long, very slow discussion about whether or not Vermont is a state. I think I lost brain cells. FML

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By AdamFoundHisEve - 25/5/2010 19:08 - France

Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML

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By drfrogpepper - 1/1/2011 23:50 - United States

Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML

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By Philip - 17/2/2017 16:00 - Australia

Today, my roommate told me that when he takes a shower he likes to swipe the bar of soap in between his butt cheeks, "like a credit card." I use that soap on my face. FML

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By anonymous - 13/3/2016 19:53 - United States - Marysville

Today, when my son gets mad in a store, he will scream stranger danger and run away from me, and to an employee, and ask for help. FML

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By .__. - 16/7/2013 20:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

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By longtriphome - 15/7/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I met my long distance girlfriend after two years of being separated by 900 miles. She brought her short distance boyfriend to the meeting. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/2/2020 14:00

Bad liar

Today, I was supposed to see my boyfriend for his birthday. He said his parents were coming down and it may not be a good time for us to really enjoy each other. Last night I saw a picture of him feeding popcorn to baby llamas with his drunk stoner friends. FML

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By PigPen - 27/9/2009 05:00 - United States

Today, I had lunch with friends I hadn't seen in years. We took a few group shots with my camera, and I went home and downloaded them to my computer. Seeing them on my monitor, I noticed a yellow spot on my black shirt, so I looked down. A big, dried booger was stuck there. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/8/2015 13:44 - Canada

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

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By whoriblemomindeed - 20/6/2013 16:02 - United States - Celeste

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

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By mrtoolate - 19/6/2016 08:58 - India - Pune

Today, after a lifetime of being single, my parents finally found me a nice, intelligent, pretty girl. I was really excited, until she backed out on me when she found out our star signs don't match. FML

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By oops - 22/8/2014 14:35 - Australia - Wembley

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

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By Juliet - 10/3/2011 12:36

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

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By Rakayla - 29/6/2019 12:03 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, after finally asking my crush for his number, and telling him the reason being he's the only friend whose number I don't have, he laughed, then asked, "Why would I ever be your friend?" FML

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By WheatiesMan - 15/6/2016 10:52

Today, I'm on a class trip to Washington DC. Last night, my roommate took a shower, and I decided that I would take one in the morning. This morning, I found out after I got out of the shower that my roommate used one towel for drying himself, and the other for a mat. He didn't hang either of them up. FML

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By arw - 25/7/2012 06:10 - United States

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

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By full moon - 8/9/2016 02:37 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, it was the first day of school, and I split my pants. In a full class. While on a stage. I'm the teacher, and I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/9/2014 20:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

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By bad luck Bianca - 17/1/2015 22:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/2/2013 07:19 - United States - Portland

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/9/2010 11:29 - Turkey

Today, I was in my hotel room. I picked up an expensive wine from the mini fridge, just to see what it is. I heard a mechanical "bling". I was charged for it. Then, I tried to put it back, only to hear another "bling". I was charged twice for expensive wine that I won't even drink. FML

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Top comments

By a1m2a3d4o5 | 0

#52906 - Monday 23 March 2009 19:21

#3LOOOL , it know a lot of girls with deeper voices than me, but then again im only 12 so...

By Give_Linux_A_Go | 28

#3113440 - Monday 15 August 2011 16:32

f HER life, surely?

Comments

By Timmytwofinger | 0

#83 - Wednesday 4 February 2009 6:41

get her to hum with your balls in her mouth.

Reply

yashack | 0

#1196232 - Friday 6 August 2010 2:22

you met Justin beiber!

Reply

Maladjusted1 | 0

#1229989 - Thursday 12 August 2010 17:58

fail.

Reply

Technocidal | 0

#1349164 - Saturday 4 September 2010 8:47

Justin beiber is a girl!? I thought she was an anthropomorphic beaver...

Reply

Give_Linux_A_Go | 28

#3113440 - Monday 15 August 2011 16:32

f HER life, surely?

Reply

FiFiLovee | 26

#5537800 - Sunday 16 June 2013 21:23

OP, I don't think that was a girl sweetheart.. xD It might have just looked like one.

By TheBigDawg | 8

#8360 - Friday 27 February 2009 5:16

Was it Dr. Mrs. The Monarch? :P

By abcdefgh_fml | 0

#11721 - Tuesday 3 March 2009 1:15

hahahaahahahaha

By a1m2a3d4o5 | 0

#52906 - Monday 23 March 2009 19:21

#3LOOOL , it know a lot of girls with deeper voices than me, but then again im only 12 so...

Reply

ZleveL | 0

#1206929 - Sunday 8 August 2010 8:41

wow I had a deep voice when I was 10. it was deeper than a group of faggot skater 16 year old white kids. it was hilarious cuz they thought they were tough and they didn't even have Pube-Staches yet. I almost had a chinstrap and a goatee!

that's just me though, I'm an earlybloomer. (except for my dick) :(

Reply

smokey20 | 0

#1354464 - Sunday 5 September 2010 9:38

lol

By rxxk | 0

#56675 - Wednesday 25 March 2009 2:14

I think Katy Perry has a deeper voice than me. And I'm a Bass.

By masterpops | 0

#56687 - Wednesday 25 March 2009 2:18

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

sayyestothedress | 24

#6076942 - Monday 29 September 2014 16:11

That has nothing to do with the FML!

By Oops_myb | 0

#72798 - Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:44

I think i know that girl...

By princess90 | 0

#78011 - Thursday 2 April 2009 23:52

you prob still have your 12 year old voice, dont worry in a while it'll get better:P

By MukyDaCookie | 0

#84979 - Sunday 5 April 2009 21:48

Have you taken health lessons yet? No? Well let me introduce you to a new concept. Its called "puberty" its a magical thing.

By centic | 0

#111170 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 22:26

Yfnjhg