Love: Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML - FML

By Daryll - United States

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

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Leave us alone

Weird romance

Projection

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

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By confused - 9/2/2021 02:00 - United States

Oh, the patriarchy

Today, a coworker grabbed my ass for the third time. I went to my boss to complain about the sexual harassment. He told me to suck it up and enjoy the attention, and that it was my fault for having a huge, round ass. I think it's time for a new job. FML

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By Malpal - United States

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

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By notsohandy - Denmark - Hadsten

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Anchorage

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

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By sprocket - Hong Kong

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year, "Why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" He replied, "Opposites attract." FML

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By youmakemesick - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years. Her response? First, she threw up all over me and then she started crying hysterically. I'll take that as a no. FML

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By LearnToLive

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

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By mylifereallyISeffed - Australia

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

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By Narehs - United States

Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML

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By bad date - United States - Bennet

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

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By dirtythief - Philippines - San Juan

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

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By Anonymous - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

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By fourfootnine - United States

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML

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By Meowitzer

Classy Mom

Today, I was elected "class mom", even though I didn’t want to do it. I was also handed several envelopes in the hectic school hallway, containing parental cash contributions for the year. I lost several of the envelopes while rushing to my car, and now have to contribute €100 instead of €25. FML

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By AllergicToRosesAndSingle

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML

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By crap - United States

Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Thanks, I hate it

Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Milford

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

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By joe - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, the guy I've been talking to for two months told me he hooked up with a girl last night, before blocking me on everything. I also was with him last night. FML

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By ryanharp2 - United States - Conway

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

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By Anonymous - 16/7/2020 20:04

High school drama

Today, I found out the promise ring my boyfriend of 4 months gave me used to be his ex-girlfriend's. FML

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By Skittlezzz0901 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, my manager said I could go on a break when he came back from his. After 7 hours with him still missing, I started to get dizzy. I ended up passing out and hitting my head on a ladder from lack of food. I woke up in the hospital to a card from my manager saying, "Get Well. Don't Sue." FML

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By fml333 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I was hanging out with my ex's new girlfriend. I found out he was dating us both at the same time and was comparing between us. That is why he broke up with me two years ago and is still with her ever since. FML

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By kinkyapparently - United States - San Juan Capistrano

Today, my husband broke his toe after tripping over a dog toy. Instead of telling the doctors what happened, he said it was "sex related". I had to sit there, beet red with embarrassment, getting weird looks while he giggled to himself. FML

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By none - United States

Today, I realized you should always knock on your parents' door before entering. Even at 6:30 am. FML

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By omgfmlhard - United States

Today, I walked into Best Buy to buy a 42" widescreen TV I'd been saving up for many months. As I walked in, a man stopped me and handed me my wallet that I'd accidentally dropped. I thanked him. 5 minutes later at the checkout, I opened up my wallet to realize it was empty. He had stolen everything. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

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By Waste Someone Else's Time - United States

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

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By dumbassgrad - United States - El Monte

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

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By coius - 21/7/2020 05:01

At risk

Today, after being on steroids to suppress my immune system, I found out it causes pulmonary embolisms. If I stop taking my steroids, my body will try to kill me, but if I take the steroids, the meds will try to kill me. I’m only 35 and was fit before this. FML

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By nipped - Australia

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

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By kaycie_lynn - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "no smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

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By TheL1nds - Australia - Kingswood

Today, I checked my fake Facebook account for the first time in ages and realized that the fake me got more birthday greetings than the real me. FML

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Top comments

By a1m2a3d4o5 | 0

#52906 - Monday 23 March 2009 19:21

#3LOOOL , it know a lot of girls with deeper voices than me, but then again im only 12 so...

By Give_Linux_A_Go | 28

#3113440 - Monday 15 August 2011 16:32

f HER life, surely?

COMMENTS

By Timmytwofinger | 0

#83 - Wednesday 4 February 2009 6:41

get her to hum with your balls in her mouth.

Reply

yashack | 0

#1196232 - Friday 6 August 2010 2:22

you met Justin beiber!

Reply

Maladjusted1 | 0

#1229989 - Thursday 12 August 2010 17:58

fail.

Reply

Technocidal | 0

#1349164 - Saturday 4 September 2010 8:47

Justin beiber is a girl!? I thought she was an anthropomorphic beaver...

Reply

Give_Linux_A_Go | 28

#3113440 - Monday 15 August 2011 16:32

f HER life, surely?

Reply

FiFiLovee | 26

#5537800 - Sunday 16 June 2013 21:23

OP, I don't think that was a girl sweetheart.. xD It might have just looked like one.

By TheBigDawg | 8

#8360 - Friday 27 February 2009 5:16

Was it Dr. Mrs. The Monarch? :P

By abcdefgh_fml | 0

#11721 - Tuesday 3 March 2009 1:15

hahahaahahahaha

By a1m2a3d4o5 | 0

#52906 - Monday 23 March 2009 19:21

#3LOOOL , it know a lot of girls with deeper voices than me, but then again im only 12 so...

Reply

ZleveL | 0

#1206929 - Sunday 8 August 2010 8:41

wow I had a deep voice when I was 10. it was deeper than a group of faggot skater 16 year old white kids. it was hilarious cuz they thought they were tough and they didn't even have Pube-Staches yet. I almost had a chinstrap and a goatee!

that's just me though, I'm an earlybloomer. (except for my dick) :(

Reply

smokey20 | 0

#1354464 - Sunday 5 September 2010 9:38

lol

By rxxk | 0

#56675 - Wednesday 25 March 2009 2:14

I think Katy Perry has a deeper voice than me. And I'm a Bass.

By masterpops | 0

#56687 - Wednesday 25 March 2009 2:18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

sayyestothedress | 24

#6076942 - Monday 29 September 2014 16:11

That has nothing to do with the FML!

By Oops_myb | 0

#72798 - Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:44

I think i know that girl...

By princess90 | 0

#78011 - Thursday 2 April 2009 23:52

you prob still have your 12 year old voice, dont worry in a while it'll get better:P

By MukyDaCookie | 0

#84979 - Sunday 5 April 2009 21:48

Have you taken health lessons yet? No? Well let me introduce you to a new concept. Its called "puberty" its a magical thing.

By centic | 0

#111170 - Tuesday 14 April 2009 22:26

Yfnjhg