Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML
Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to quit my job after being tortured by my boss for months. My boss responded by throwing a hardcover textbook at me and hitting me in the face. FML
Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Talk to another manager who isn't a bitch like her. That's ****** up. She should be fired for that.
cjlerch 29
I'm pretty sure that's assault. If you report that, she'll almost certainly be fired.
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Comments (85)
RBW_Slave 9
File an assault charge with the police.
salamancer 11
Hit her in the head with a real hammer and tell her to take it up with HR. (Jk, don't really do it)
chosha_fml 27
That's assault. Take it up with the police.
Emiriki_Chan 11
Hell yes! she may be a bitch, but what were you doing to make her throw that?
soulreaper12296 28
I'd call the police, pretty sure that would count has some sort of assault.
liza1922 7
Since she isn't the owner she has a boss, take it up with him/her. Hope you documented everything, you were injured you have the right to file criminal charges for the assult.
DenverTyrrell 13
Erm...isn't that like .. You know illegal! Go to another boss or something and speak to them about it
captainsmegma 12
When you file the worker's comp claim. you may end up with a new hr person.
doumtabarnack 12
Set the police on her sorry ass
Onyx3288 22
Talk to a lawyer! Go to the ER, file a police report (for which you have prove of the assault), and contact a lawyer!!! That's physical abuse, don't feel trapped, and certainly don't let her get away with it.