Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
Today, I got diagnosed with Lyme disease. My whole family thought it would be hilarious to call it, "Lame disease." FML
Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML
Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML
Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today, but he had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can see if he can go back. FML
Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML
Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his own ass. Bonus, he has bad diarrhoea from the food poisoning he got from the shrimp he made me hand-feed him yesterday. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, my younger sister said that she was going to pray for her brother's HIV. I have Primary Immune Disease (PID) not HIV. School will be very interesting tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
Your brother is a moron.
ilovemsminaj 13
You should tell him that the disease literally makes your blood boil. Probably one of the most painful ways to die
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Comments (103)
alitaba21fx 16
and does he know that he will die if he gets the disease?
Tayleena97 11
Well he's not wrong
kyrasrayne420 4
hes a dumb fuckk
yeongji 31
I hope you killed his dreams of becoming famous by stating that he will not be the first person in the states to get it, so he may not even have his 5 seconds of fame if he catches it.
jeanyrios 10
and someday he will graduate with a college degree what a waste
VoodooPriestess 16
Welcome to the system.
luverofakatsuki 16
and hes how old 0.o
CyberGothic 16
With a fatality rate of 50-80%, perhaps it's exactly what he needs.
Iceberg86300 14
Possible you missed the “I'm just being a jackass” connotation?
TheNiceOne 20
Now that's a true optimist.