Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
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By
daner10
| 5
Who's the stupid bitch now?
By
RedSnuwolf
| 4
Your sister is a total badass. :)
COMMENTS
By
daner10
| 5
Who's the stupid bitch now?
Reply
CaptainDoorknob
| 7
She deserved it. I hate when people mutter shit under their breath completely oblivious to the fact that everyone can hear them.
Reply
daner10
| 5
Agreed dude, my sister always does that.
Reply
Zoh_Aubrey
| 8
Talk shit = get hit.
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
35 - Plato would be proud of that.
Reply
Scarshadow101
| 6
Hey, Karma's a bitch.
A stupid bitch.
A stupid bitch.
Reply
PinkieKeen
| 20
Watch her try to make an FML about this.
Reply
heygirlie777
| 21
43- maybe if we stopped calling karma a bitch, it would be nicer to us.
Reply
sens3sfailing
| 24
Karma is only a bitch if you are one.
Reply
Driveshaft
| 5
Wow, first the fml made me laugh, then everyone in this thread made me smile, and took me to my happy place! Love the Plato comment!
Reply
shadowsorel
| 15
46 - It'd probably go like:
"Today, *insert something insignificant that pissed her off here*. I called her a stupid bitch under my breath. Then she punched me! It still hurts! FML"
OP - By the way, I think I'm in love with your badass sister.
"Today, *insert something insignificant that pissed her off here*. I called her a stupid bitch under my breath. Then she punched me! It still hurts! FML"
OP - By the way, I think I'm in love with your badass sister.
Reply
gardenwhipped3
| 14
personally i think that's great. Unfortunately after about 16, it doesn't really work. My brother (2 years younger) was the king of under the breath talking and hateful glares. Finally one day I got sick of it. I remember telling him to "go ahead and hit me, and i would show him how much of a girl he really was".
today my brother is a total loser and probably on welfare. If it was possible to voluntarily restrict family members from federal programs, i would have him banned because he is just lazy and good for nothing.
Maybe that hit will send the "OPs" girlfriend on a completely different path.
today my brother is a total loser and probably on welfare. If it was possible to voluntarily restrict family members from federal programs, i would have him banned because he is just lazy and good for nothing.
Maybe that hit will send the "OPs" girlfriend on a completely different path.
Reply
K_kanaka
| 26
Well I hope your girlfriend learned if you got nothing to say to someone then don't say anything about someone... preferably not six feet away from them.
By
RedSnuwolf
| 4
Your sister is a total badass. :)
Reply
dressedskeleton
| 10
And your girlfriend's a bit of a bitch herself!
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
Your sister MUST be a lesbian. There is no other viable explanation. (idiots out there - please realise I am joking).
Reply
SirEskimo
| 13
34- I must be an idiot. Can you please explain the joke to me?
Reply
Sexy_Kisses14
| 8
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
No. If it's too subtle for you, then tough shit.
Reply
FirstTigerHobbes
| 13
Stop yelling! D:
Reply
matt98_fml
| 13
It's okay 37, I don't get it either.
Reply
skyeyez9
| 24
straight girls are supposed to be submissive doormats, and lesbians defend themselves?
Reply
gmc_blossom
| 21
34-
That joke was bad and you should feel bad.
That joke was bad and you should feel bad.
Reply
SenselessPattern
| 12
I got it, still not great, but I got it.
Basically, sister must be lesbian to punch OP's GF since only guys can fight/know how to punch/solve things with violence, since lesbians fill the role of the guy and girl in a relationship. At least, I think that's the joke. Ugh....
Basically, sister must be lesbian to punch OP's GF since only guys can fight/know how to punch/solve things with violence, since lesbians fill the role of the guy and girl in a relationship. At least, I think that's the joke. Ugh....
Reply
Cairo_Sanchez
| 8
So is she your ex now?
Reply
FMLKitten
| 15
60- I'm clearly a lesbian then.
Reply
Driveshaft
| 5
The joke was funny. Made me laugh, and feel sad that it went over so many heads.
Reply
SkyyEatsAirplane
| 11
Not really. She's still a stupid bitch for over reacting. More like a psychotic stupid bitch now
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
109 - conform. Conform dammit!!! You are not allowed to find it funny. Conform you bastard!!!!
By
1990245
| 6
Wow...
Reply
DracoSpirita
| 21
I am awed at the masterpiece that is your comment! Really, you must have an IQ of a thousand to have come up with something so clever!
Reply
Driveshaft
| 5
Whoa!
Reply
FlyingPie
| 17
ShamWow!
Reply
FlyingPie
| 17
ShamWhoa!
Reply
DerrickJames
| 33
His IQ must be... Over 9000!?
By
Krajjan
| 9
How exactly does that work in her house? I see no way that doesn't end badly anywhere.
Reply
jlev90
| 2
Carpet vs hardwood flooring, absorbing sound vs carrying it
Reply
Krajjan
| 9
Snooki vs Laila Ali?
Reply
desireev
| 17
4- I think OP is saying that she gets away with muttering names under her breath in her house.
Way to go, OPs sister! Glad to see that you put her in her place. :)
Way to go, OPs sister! Glad to see that you put her in her place. :)
Reply
folgy
| 10
*Op's girlfriend* " stupid bitch.
*Op's sister* " hey there is something on your face. *PUNCH* IT WAS PAINNNN.
*Op's sister* " hey there is something on your face. *PUNCH* IT WAS PAINNNN.
Reply
anencephalic
| 14
Maybe all of OP's girlfriend's family members are death... and blind?
Reply
hopsinlove17
| 26
133- deaf...?
Reply
se7enXBANG
| 1
Asdf is the best haha
Reply
Alex1901
| 6
Maybe they argue but don't resort to violence.
Reply
union_j
| 3
This is the best comment ever!!!
By
bebefer
| 8
Haha, your girlfriend deserves it. You, however, do not. Bet she'll never do that again.
Reply
tygerarmy
| 35
Exactly. Where're the Y(GF)DI and I agree you sister's life sucks (for having to put up with your GF) buttons?
Reply
cheshireau
| 26
I wonder why he is with her OR why he didn't stick up for her. Someone is out of line and if it's the Girlfriend, get rid of her. I wouldn't date anyone who took a shot at my sister.
Reply
Emily9352
| 13
I love your picture.
By
CoolBroStory
| 7
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
ThePsyche
| 9
No.
Reply
CoolBroStory
| 7
Hitting someone just because they called you a bitch is a bit of an overreaction.
Reply
ThePsyche
| 9
No si eres mexicano ;)
Reply
fuzz97
| 23
No.
Reply
Zoh_Aubrey
| 8
Yeah but she called OP's sister a bitch in HER (sisters) house. Who allows to be disrespected in their own house?
Reply
AriJMlovesMJ
| 2
I agree. What are we, in middle school?
Reply
Ridney
| 1
I agree. Sounds like they are both "stupid bitches."
The girlfriend is horribly disrespectful, and the sister assaults people who say things she doesn't like.
FYL OP, for being stuck in the middle of those two hotheads. Duck and cover.
The girlfriend is horribly disrespectful, and the sister assaults people who say things she doesn't like.
FYL OP, for being stuck in the middle of those two hotheads. Duck and cover.
Reply
ForeverEminem1
| 5
no.
Reply
Jackasss_fml
| 14
Your mom is a worthless C U N T. Let me know if you wanna punch me or have a " talk"
Reply
ElricMustang
| 23
You kidding? If you called me a bitch, you'd better be prepared for at least a broken nose
Reply
SkyyEatsAirplane
| 11
It's not "her house", her parents are paying for it. Technically the government is paying for it, since her parents get their money from the government. But regardless who's house it is, if his sister was being a stupid bitch, she deserves to be called one. It wasn't her fault that her boyfriends sister got so butthurt that she turned out to be some messed up psycho who can't contain her anger.
Reply
MelissaHope1986
| 8
161 ... After reading your comments i have to ask. Do you know OP's girlfriend or like to keep the same trashy company? The girlfriend clearly disrespected the Op as well as the sister not to mention his parents. Last time I checked when you are with someone you owe the entire family a descent level of respect. She didn't give such respect so his sister stood up for herself. At least she's not a coward. She didn't talk under her breath, she dealt with the girl directly.
Reply
SkyyEatsAirplane
| 11
Just because they are related, that doesn't mean this girl needs to kiss his sisters ass if she did something that might've pissed her off. Everyone's calling this girl a bad ass and such but she could of started this situation, we don't know that. OP didn't mention how it started.
His girl should of kept her comments to herself. What she said was pretty rude, but again we don't know how this started, and I don't think that punching her in the face over something stupid was really necessary. His sister needs to grow up and deal with verbal shit. If his girlfriend physically attacked his sister, she would have the right to defend herself. But please, is it necessary to get so defensive over a dumb little insult? Is she willing to risk getting charged or arrested for blowing up a situation that could of been avoided? They're both immature but I still have more sympathy for his girlfriend. His sisters a psychotic bitch who needs anger management.
His girl should of kept her comments to herself. What she said was pretty rude, but again we don't know how this started, and I don't think that punching her in the face over something stupid was really necessary. His sister needs to grow up and deal with verbal shit. If his girlfriend physically attacked his sister, she would have the right to defend herself. But please, is it necessary to get so defensive over a dumb little insult? Is she willing to risk getting charged or arrested for blowing up a situation that could of been avoided? They're both immature but I still have more sympathy for his girlfriend. His sisters a psychotic bitch who needs anger management.
Reply
hayleyjames
| 0
I agree!!
By
perdix
| 29
What happens at her house? High fives?
Reply
ThePsyche
| 9
Edit: don't read the below. I was blabbering and shall promptly be thumbed down. Thank you.
Man if someone called me a little bitch!!
..I would do absolutely nothing. I would probably lock myself in the restroom and cry bc it's so true.
But seriously, if I got a hi five everytime I said the B word.. I'd have a hi five... Wait. 0.o
Man if someone called me a little bitch!!
..I would do absolutely nothing. I would probably lock myself in the restroom and cry bc it's so true.
But seriously, if I got a hi five everytime I said the B word.. I'd have a hi five... Wait. 0.o
Reply
loserboii
| 11
Yea high fives to the face
Reply
gmc_blossom
| 21
26-
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
Reply
desireev
| 17
High five... In the face... With a chair... Indeed.
By
gc327072
| 29
Nice girlfriend ya got there... Why would you even allow her to speak about your family that way? Should've slapped her yourself! She's the one being a bitch here...
Reply
jelly713
| 19
Exactly, she has no right to be insulting your family in your own house unless they disrespected her too, it's understandable but still not excusable. I would have been told off I insulted my BF's sister by my BF. OP should have a talk with her.
Reply
gc327072
| 29
And that talk should consist of four letters: GTFO.
Reply
pabst4america
| 1
Fuck yea domestic violence
By
ObeyStudKing
| 4
What happens In your house stays In your house. Lol
Reply
laden_swallow09
| 34
Apparently not if it's on FML.com for all the world to see.
Reply
TheTallPerson
| 3
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.***
Reply
thePr3da1i3nrulz
| 4
Except for herpies. That shit comes home with you...
Reply
SenselessPattern
| 12
Go ahead and hate me, but quoting the exact same quote from the Hangover isn't funny to me anymore. Oh shit, I stated an opinion. To the bunker!
Reply
rin142
| 12
That saying has been around for much longer than that crap movie.
Reply
thePr3da1i3nrulz
| 4
74- sorry if it isnt funny anymore, just the first thing that i thought after reading that haha
Reply
bizarre_ftw
| 21
136 - nope, it's still funny, it's not overused to the point of hatred therefore it can simply be considered a classic - plus it's good, you might notice the ones that become hated quickly due to overuse usually aren't
(and it's the first thing that popped into my head too)
(and it's the first thing that popped into my head too)
By
failgamer
| 7
Your girlfriend is learning well on how to act around your family.