Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
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Top comments
hellokat1 0
Fire crotch!
Danniiboii22 0
nice way to "spice" up the sex lol :D
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Comments (84)
im_wilder 0
everyone and there annoying PUNS! stop with it >.<
_krispy 0
are they burning you?
im_wilder 0
kinda. The annoying orange burns me which coincidently uses puns, that's why the puns burn me.
_krispy 0
i was using a pun aswell ..
username5000 0
ooooo spicyyy
Judus_beej 0
altoids work way better. ;)
alexFYL 11
Hah! That's hilarious... and terrible. Spicy foods can be an aphrodisiac. My boyfriend actually kindly refuses to sexytiemz me after we eat hot wings etc, which makes me sad and whiny but he doesn't want to burn my ******. I mean, god, that shit hurts getting in your cuticles and under your fingernails, imagine how it is in your cooch... *shudder*
triggerit 5
perhaps it helps him to "attack" you...feed him with it three times a day..
pandabarrel 0
Sounds like it was....... Hot. *sunglasses* YEEEAAAAHHHHH
whiteboy77 0
atleast it wasn't ghost chili
jckbco 0
Did you ******?
styphon 5
so many lame puns here
ShadyFTW1 0
Got wouldn't have made woman smell like fish, if he hadn't made c*m look like tarter sauce.