Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
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Top comments
melonrind 8
Nothing like a nice steamy room that has the scent of poo lingering in the air to spice things up ;) Lock the door next time!
Klefhomacked 11
Water waster.
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Comments (215)
redhedsaysrawr 18
There was an FML about this sort of thing a few months ago, except it was from a boyfriend saying he wanted to spice it up but walked in on his girlfriend taking a dump... makes you wonder...
Ridney 1
It sucks that he walked in on you but you kind of had it coming because you didn't lock the door...
infek7ious 0
For some reason, I can never wrap my mind around the fact that girls poop. They're just too... Delicate and sweet for such a violent act.
Googolman 29
Oh, please. Quit being such a child. Everyone defecates. End of story. Also, sweet and delicate pretty much evolves into sensitive, vulnerable, and weak, which can be considered sexist.
chippa 24
Yeah, you can **** off, sir. I hope you enjoy dying alone.
loohoozuuhuur 13
What??? Women dò take dumps? /faint
bubo_fml 11
"Now that we got that out of the way, Honey, Wha-da-ya say we share the load?"
mariab01 3
lmfao
TheBrownBaller 2
Tell him to give you a blumpken next time !XD. LOL
Googolman 29
Everone telling for OP to lock the door, OP was worrying her boyfriend would HEAR her, and was using the shower to drown out the noise. Locking the door would have not made a difference.
TheBrownBaller 2
Did you not read the FML right? It's FML because he walked in on her dumbfuck.
Fenyryn 5
Yes, it would have made a difference. He would think she was taking a shower with the door locked if he tried to open it. genius.jpg
Googolman 29
It matters not whether the door was locked or not, OP's boyfriend would have heard anyway. Locking a door does not turn it into a soundproof barrier. Even if the door was locked, her boyfriend could still hear everything.
ShananaginsLOL 13
ALWAYS lock the door!!!!!!
lalaney 14
I find it odd that you appear to have been in a relationship for a while (there's a need to "spice things up") but bodily functions are still an embarrassing issue? He knows you poop, right?