By Anonymous - United States - Tallahassee Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML I agree, your life sucks 32108 You deserved it 4165 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ineedbetterfriends - Netherlands - Amersfoort Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML I agree, your life sucks 40547 You deserved it 5712 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By frozen solid - United States - Allentown Today, I spent nearly half an hour clearing several inches of snow off my car. After almost suffering from hypothermia, I finished. Except the car keys were missing from my pocket, presumably buried under a foot of snow. FML I agree, your life sucks 43818 You deserved it 6865 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my grandfather kept on asking me questions about my girlfriend and was obviously proud of the things he remembered about her. The only thing he couldn't remember is that we broke up. I had to talk with him about our 'great relationship' for over an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 45109 You deserved it 4034 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, while babysitting I decided to play with a children's puzzle to pass the time. Fifteen minutes in I gave up. The kid then came over and put it together in less than five. There were only ten pieces. FML I agree, your life sucks 11919 You deserved it 59809 279 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jim - Canada - Winfield Bigger than... Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML I agree, your life sucks 2351 You deserved it 469 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DumbassRoaster - United States - Fairview Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML I agree, your life sucks 12497 You deserved it 1711 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Phil - Canada Today, I came to the realisation that the longest relationship I've had by far is the one I have with my hemorrhoids. FML I agree, your life sucks 20487 You deserved it 3221 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By badmom Today, I was told that I was a terrible mother, I was ruining my daughter’s life and that I was raising her to be promiscuous. Why? Because I'd painted my 2-year-old’s fingernails. FML I agree, your life sucks 4511 You deserved it 608 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML I agree, your life sucks 18146 You deserved it 53665 312 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I received a notification that someone opened a fraudulent credit card in my name. I'm not sure what's worse: that they were approved at all with my terrible credit, or that I was denied for this exact card when I applied out of desperation last month to pay for my service dog's surgery. FML I agree, your life sucks 14413 You deserved it 892 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML I agree, your life sucks 29538 You deserved it 6885 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tramp - United States Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML I agree, your life sucks 42235 You deserved it 19522 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward - United States Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML I agree, your life sucks 49401 You deserved it 5252 317 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML I agree, your life sucks 32879 You deserved it 15730 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML I agree, your life sucks 53569 You deserved it 6339 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BFfail - United States Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML I agree, your life sucks 52852 You deserved it 2733 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By flying solo - United States Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML I agree, your life sucks 24074 You deserved it 2213 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Racing rats Today, after working my ass off for months for an open supervisor job at my work, I found out that they hired someone for the position. The guy has never worked for the company before, has a background completely unrelated to what we do, and has to be trained as he knows nothing about what we do. FML I agree, your life sucks 1564 You deserved it 110 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jshum - Australia - South Yarra Today, I bought a new phone. It's shock proof, water proof, you name it. Just not kitten proof, it seems. That's $400 down the drain. FML I agree, your life sucks 13130 You deserved it 1918 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtactualfuck :( - United States Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML I agree, your life sucks 37413 You deserved it 2351 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML I agree, your life sucks 8614 You deserved it 38891 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By badbestfriend - United States Today, I took my best friend out for a night in town, after he got dumped by his girlfriend recently. As we were walking around, we passed a group of hot women, a couple who were checking him out. Trying to be encouraging, I said "He's single!" and winked. One of the girls was his ex-girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 44153 You deserved it 9971 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML I agree, your life sucks 58024 You deserved it 16840 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NeedANewWindshield Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1512 You deserved it 82 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Edgarillo - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City Today, my hairdresser apologised because he couldn't distinguish the hair from the back of my head from the hair from my back. FML I agree, your life sucks 30406 You deserved it 8826 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ThatHurts - Canada Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML I agree, your life sucks 18265 You deserved it 34426 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - France - Belloy-en-france Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML I agree, your life sucks 28799 You deserved it 4886 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Mccomb Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML I agree, your life sucks 52054 You deserved it 3506 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HURP - Canada - Edmonton Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML I agree, your life sucks 26000 You deserved it 13077 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Coplay Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 4038 You deserved it 250 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DriveMeNot - United States Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML I agree, your life sucks 23618 You deserved it 7322 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my Darwin Award-nominated cousin got himself admitted to the hospital because he substituted the hammer and screwdriver for a meat tenderizer and a knife when he couldn't find the toolbox. The one I clearly labeled "TOOLS" in giant letters to avoid this situation from happening again. FML I agree, your life sucks 4077 You deserved it 306 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Mexico Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML I agree, your life sucks 32068 You deserved it 2783 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Grand Prairie Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML I agree, your life sucks 38681 You deserved it 20910 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By loo Today, I had to go claim benefits for the first time since working and paying taxes from the age of 16. I’m 50. They offered me an emergency payment of £1200, and I said no because I was too embarrassed to accept “charity.” FML I agree, your life sucks 702 You deserved it 2451 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dogmom Today, I overheard my manager tell a customer that it's perfectly safe for dogs to eat grapes if they're seedless. I work in a pet store. FML I agree, your life sucks 3130 You deserved it 185 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By flatchested Sam - United States - Radcliff Today, my mom said I should start wearing push up bras to make myself look better. I was wearing one when she said that. FML I agree, your life sucks 45722 You deserved it 3931 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lonesome - United States - Pittsburgh Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML I agree, your life sucks 35475 You deserved it 6201 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MsGamerLady - 8/11/2020 17:02 - United States In-laws, in-fighting Today, like every time I visit the in-laws, my father-in-law is driving me crazy. He gets all holier than thou sometimes, and even my mother-in-law agrees he just talks to hear himself speak. It gets so bad that I resort to cleaning their house to ignore him. At least then he leaves me alone. Starting their dishes in 5. FML I agree, your life sucks 806 You deserved it 84 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By clinictime - Canada - Okotoks Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML I agree, your life sucks 30398 You deserved it 4976 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By igotds | 16 #6246353 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:31 It's the THOT that counts Send a private message 277 10 Reply
By WitEluded | 13 #6246374 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:38 Did he at least make it rain for you? Send a private message 160 3 Reply
By CitricAcid | 21 #6246352 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:31 It's good to be #1 Send a private message 0 6 Reply
Reply CitricAcid | 21 #6246366 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:35 Let's see the downvotes role in... *cracks knuckles* Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By igotds | 16 #6246353 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:31 It's the THOT that counts Send a private message 277 10 Reply
Reply Swandive235 | 27 #6246400 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:51 Well, not the most romantic gesture, but both of them get to enjoy themselves Send a private message 5 34 Reply
Reply kipperin | 18 #6246449 - Sunday 29 March 2015 8:04 That's what I would do if I wanted to end a relationship, by being dumped instead of dumping. He MIGHT be trying to do just that. Send a private message 8 20 Reply
Reply xsydneyx123 | 28 #6246451 - Sunday 29 March 2015 8:05 Unless OP isn't into girls at all. Seems like it was more for the guy, which is kinda selfish.. Send a private message 34 5 Reply
Reply Rawrshi | 25 #6246545 - Sunday 29 March 2015 11:17 Who said it was a women's strip club? ;) 18 4 Reply
Reply AllSoul | 23 #6246648 - Sunday 29 March 2015 14:28 #55, I can't see any man willing to go to a strip club to see men, whatever the occasion. Unless he's bi. Send a private message 20 1 Reply
Reply friedpwnadge | 25 #6246664 - Sunday 29 March 2015 14:54 JESUS CHRIST Send a private message 2 3 Reply
Reply ana_lee_bonde | 17 #6246794 - Sunday 29 March 2015 17:40 #75 at least OP still has zoooidbeeeeeerg. Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By ADBurns | 22 #6246354 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:31 wait, what? For the love of God why?!? 70 5 Reply
Reply TheCookieComet | 23 #6246421 - Sunday 29 March 2015 7:21 maybe op's boyfriend thought op was Bi sexual? it seems to be the only logical explanation. Or he just wanted to enjoy tits that weren't his wife's Send a private message 1 42 Reply
Reply garrett_8614 | 14 #6246460 - Sunday 29 March 2015 8:19 I know a lot of girls who are straight and go to strip clubs pretty often. It's like a regular club for them, food, drinks, and all. Send a private message 9 16 Reply
Reply Aimeejasmine | 15 #6246537 - Sunday 29 March 2015 11:02 You guys do realise it's their one year anniversary though.. It's not some regular day it's supposed to be special for the both if them, not a chance for him to stare at tits Jesus Christ thats so not cool Send a private message 45 2 Reply
Reply AllSoul | 23 #6246578 - Sunday 29 March 2015 12:38 I think we need a follow up explaining how on earth OP's boyfriend found this acceptable for their anniversary. Send a private message 22 0 Reply
Reply Nooblah | 15 #6247288 - Monday 30 March 2015 4:32 maybe they went there for the food. Send a private message 2 1 Reply
Reply Knightchaser27 | 25 #6247388 - Monday 30 March 2015 7:25 He obviously wanted to be single Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By Abdul888 | 16 #6246356 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:32 Maybe he wanted you to learn ;) Send a private message 67 18 Reply
By brendejafulable | 41 #6246358 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:32 Sounds fun. Send a private message 32 14 Reply
By miaaxoxxo | 16 #6246361 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:33 Men. I don't think they understand romance yet Send a private message 0 2 Reply
By myselfkk | 20 #6246362 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:34 May be he wanted to spice things up little bit between you two.. Send a private message 34 6 Reply
By Nathan_Henry | 15 #6246364 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:34 Sounds like he's been playin a little too much gta v Send a private message 62 6 Reply
Reply Rawrshi | 25 #6246547 - Sunday 29 March 2015 11:19 One can never play "too much GTA V". 28 7 Reply
Reply shemademedoit | 20 #6256262 - Wednesday 8 April 2015 10:31 for real. after the heist update I stopped playing Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By riahlum | 12 #6246365 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:35 Last time i was this early it was to the pre ejaculation club Send a private message 30 7 Reply
By nchic01 | 17 #6246368 - Sunday 29 March 2015 6:36 maybe that's a sign the relationship isn't really working out Send a private message 27 8 Reply
Today, right now, my husband is on the phone with his friend. Last night I had a dream I was cheating on him with this friend. FML I agree, your life sucks 54 You deserved it 92 1 Comments
Today, I know my life is awesome when my partner and I have to plan watching movies and having sex around his drinking schedule. FML I agree, your life sucks 261 You deserved it 64 3 Comments