Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend is still determined to find my kink. I keep telling him I don’t have one. Literally, I don’t. He isn’t forcing me to do anything physically but he won’t drop the subject. He keeps making all these different suggestions and expecting me to have some magical discovery or something. FML
Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML
Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
steve247 2
Try circling it with a sharpie?
orgasm_blush 4
Hmmm. How old are you guys I feel like that might play a big part in this.
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Comments (362)
pvtpilot 0
Maybe you should mow the lawn to make it more visible to your rookie boyfriend
ryanthelion13 0
I'm telling you next time draw him a map and take a picture and before you start be like "wait in case you get lost" And hand the map and the pic.
env303 5
Need a shave? Or start losing weight?
shotgun479 4
You need a real man
WhyNotZoidberg 0
It's the little man at the top of the boat.
bookwormsteph 3
...and I'm off in search of the mythical ********...bahahaha!
foxyfozy 0
sucker :)
IDKKK69 0
This is terrible.
chingthecreator 4
Chill the **** out. Quit complaining about it cause what you can do is do something like that to him.
AidensHorizon 4
Hmmm I could help you out with that ;) lol