By ugh - 19/01/2011 19:19 - United States
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Nah, he should dump her, she clearly isn't ready to be in a relationship yet. I've dated girls like OP before, who never ask for anything or show any sort of ambition or initiative. It gets pretty annoying. Equally annoying is people who ask someone to delete a picture off facebook. Just grow up and untag yourself.
I'm with twozero. I've dated a girl or two who were SO blatantly immature. They would be shy of everything, and wouldn't ask for anything of people because they would be afraid to hurt their feelings (on really ridiculous things) It sounds like the boyfriend was trying to help her, and that he doesn't want to delete pictures of her. How is that bad? Of course, it's also possible OP's boyfriend didn't mean it in a helpful way. The jerk.
So OZ, you think the girl is in the wrong here because she doesn't want to ask for anything? You don't believe the guy to be a jerk for telling her to ask, then basically punishing her for it? Tell me you've never taken a bad picture. Everyone has had at least one picture that they don't like. That doesn't mean they have self-esteem issues. OP, your boyfriend is a jerk. Don't let him treat you like that.
Communication is important. If OP wants something, she should ask for it. It's not fair to the guy to force him to guess what she wants. One of the funny parts of life is that you don't always get what you ask for. But if you don't even ask, it's even less likely to get what you want. Denying someone what they ask for isn't necessarily a punishment.
erm hellooo?! isn't it NORMAL to ask if you want something to happen, rather than demanding? I mean... the OP is the jerk here, since her bf had to tell her to be a little nicer and a little more polite. oh and I would have done the same with the picture thing. if OP is a bitch, I am a bitch and I won't delete the picture
He expects her to ask for what she wants, then tells her no when she finally does ask. Sounds like he's telling her that she should ask even though he won't give her what she wants. Many people are afraid to ask for things because they don't want to sound rude or demanding.
How was OP trying to be nice? She sounds like a bleeding idiot and could possibly be an impolite one. OP, your bf is right and you should thank him. You'll never have decent relationships if you don't ask for what you want. Exhibit some personality, assertiveness, and security. You will also not have decent relationships if you think you should get something just because you ask. You have a lot of maturing to do if you don't even understand the concept of what he was saying.
Say that to him the next time he wants some ass. He sounds like a controlling bastard.
You don't lecture your partner for an hour. This is not an insubordinate lackey. If she's that immature or incompatible, why are they together? If this is an indication of the dynamic of the relationship, he is a small man with low self-esteem who is attempting to boost his own by cutting down hers. Lecturing a bratty child is one thing, dating one is another... sick.
In what way is his comment sexist? Even if he had meant for the bf to tell OP to shut up (which he clearly didn't), that is not sexist. If you don't know what feminism is, research it a bit before you go around advocating it. Causes don't need more misguided idiots.