Harsh

By SkipBeatOtaku - 29/08/2020 23:02

Today, my estranged father died. No one bothered to tell me, and the only reason I found out was because his wife texted my sister. When I asked about the service, I was told I was no welcome in the state he had lived in, because I was no longer family. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 511
You deserved it 353

Same thing different taste

Top comments

rotflqtms_ 21

They can't stop you from coming into an entire state, and if you know where the funeral is, just show up. It's your dad, so you can go to your dad's funeral. If they insist on kicking you out, make a scene along why you can't attend your own father's funeral. Make them look bad for being so mean.

Or maybe OP had been so out of contact with their father that they no longer had a way to contact him. We don't know the father's age, so he could have been old enough that he wasn't as clued in on social media as some people. My own grandmother barely uses her phone and has no internet, so if I didn't know where she lived it'd be next to impossible to contact her. Alternatively, could be that the father was intentionally estranged, not returning any attempts at contact that OP made. In any case, no matter the level of contact you should be allowed to attend the service of a family member if only to make peace in death where you couldn't in life.

Comments

He's estranged... so the only way you found out is by someone telling you... which means you also don't really ever contact him. Why so surprised you aren't welcome to the service?

Or maybe OP had been so out of contact with their father that they no longer had a way to contact him. We don't know the father's age, so he could have been old enough that he wasn't as clued in on social media as some people. My own grandmother barely uses her phone and has no internet, so if I didn't know where she lived it'd be next to impossible to contact her. Alternatively, could be that the father was intentionally estranged, not returning any attempts at contact that OP made. In any case, no matter the level of contact you should be allowed to attend the service of a family member if only to make peace in death where you couldn't in life.

TinScarecrow 15

Estranged is estranged. That doesn't mean you get to pretend everything's all better at the funeral. It sounds like there was a reason they weren't in contact. Without knowing more we have no reason to say OP is welcome

that's obviously not the case since the fathers side deliberately didn't contact but contacted others near op. they went out of their way to avoid op it's no surprise op isn't welcomed. sucks, but not surprising

rotflqtms_ 21

They can't stop you from coming into an entire state, and if you know where the funeral is, just show up. It's your dad, so you can go to your dad's funeral. If they insist on kicking you out, make a scene along why you can't attend your own father's funeral. Make them look bad for being so mean.

op, this is terrible. please message me if you would like to talk further. i am very sorry for your loss

that same thing happened with me; but with my own stepmom passing 4 1/2 years ago, she moved to her home state not too long after she wasn't doing so well and that was it. I wasn't notified for about 2-3 months, than i got notice and i am still outraged about it. if anything belonged or went to you find out what you can do about it, and take action. If they couldn't include like mine couldn't include me, they aren't family. They never were, don't stress yourself over it. I know that feeling.