Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML
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Top comments
Omg_its_Chloe 6
Why don't you rub some salt and vinegar into his eyes. Poor OP ):
kittycat1597 10
FYL, he's a douche.
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Comments (170)
DocBastard 40
Tell him that boyfriends are like trash. Sometimes you tolerate the shit that really stinks, but eventually you have to dump that crap at the curb.
downtime 13
...Except that assumes there is no such thing as a decent boyfriend. If you believe this then it seems whatever masculinity that was left in you has been stamped out by some man hating hussey.
Isoldael 27
"Men are like a bag of chips too - when you're done with them, you throw 'em out with the trash."
Isoldael 27
Or "Men are like a bag of chips too - once someone else has licked them, you don't want them back anymore either."
BeccaHugs 17
Those are both awful and not funny at all.
Isoldael 27
They're not supposed to be funny, they're supposed to be an equally awful comeback for the OP to show her bf that analogies don't make a crappy message any better. But sorry if I was supposed to be funny, I guess...
b0ngs 7
Smokey BBQ is much better than salt and vinigar. Let him have the salt and vinigars and you go and find yourself some smokin BBQ.
cosmonaught 0
Hell yeah!!!
esines 9
I prefer me some sour and cream. But NEVER go for the baked ones with extra cheddar. Then you"ll have a mess around your mouth and fingers...
mfred0322 2
Wtf does that mean
Kurochrome 17
No you cannot go for the salt and vinigar once in a while, because they taste like shit, are bitchy, and probably have an STD. But really, that is the absolute worst flavor of chips. I have no idea how anyone can eat them. Back to the topic though, FYL
b0ngs 7
My mom eats them! And shes a good woman D:
CustardAndPie 13
#27; On their own, salt and vinegar are a bit overpowering, but stick them in a crisp sandwich and they are ambrosial.
maniaccrab 0
Am I the only one who noticed his picture looks like its from home stuck?
Kurochrome 17
120 - Nope, I noticed as soon as I made it my picture :V
xNephilim 19
You heathens. :o Salt and vinegar is awesome. :3
mct_1087 27
How do you even breathe? Salt & Vinegar crisps are amazing!
KrayKrayGurl117 7
That something a player would say. Im sorry OP :/
shawnaishere 14
That sucks... And for all of you guys asking whaaa like my classmates during math class. Read it again and maybe you'll understand
Needafarm 22
LOL, math. This did not sound like a math problem at all. Unless you are saying (1+1+1) = 1 because he's not with the chick he's cheating with, just using her and hopefully OP dumps his dirty cheating ass and then he's all alone. Therefore "1"
kirrra 11
I sort of see where you were trying to go with this.but it really wasn't worth it..
DocBastard 40
Shawnaishere - Maybe you should be paying attention in math class rather than reading FML.
Zachthejoker 10
He used a food analogy to tell you he cheated? Get rid of him.
JBrownie123 24
Ugh. I'm hungry now! And sucks for OP, I'm guessing he meant he cheats a lot then... :/
SeanMargalit 0
Nice metaphor :D
Kenton1008 21
It's actually a simile. Like, as, or than are what similes use, metaphors don't use these.
SeanMargalit 0
Oops i was looking at the flavor part but thanks anyway!!