By muskogee

Prince Charming

Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
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By  ChromaScarlet  |  12

You know how people have these little habits that getcha down
Like, Bernie, Bernie he liked to chew gum
No, not chew, pop!
So I came home this one day and I'm really irritated
And I'm looking for a little sympathy
And there's Bernie, lying on the couch, drinking a beer and chewing
No, not chewing, popping!
So I said to him, I said you pop that gum one more time, and he did
So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warnings shots
Into his head

  Leviathene  |  34

Its "Cell Block Tango" from Chicago, the musical. Its heaps better with context.

By  WeirdUS  |  29

He sounds increadibly immature. That attitude also tends to lead into other things. Good luck going anywhere with him. Dump the loser. Not having basic manners is gross and it doesn't make someone funny just gross. Hope you follow up.