Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML
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Top comments
Omg_its_Chloe 6
Why don't you rub some salt and vinegar into his eyes. Poor OP ):
kittycat1597 10
FYL, he's a douche.
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Comments (170)
grace12898 0
This is kinda like the Cheerios and fruit loops guy!!
grace12898 0
Id say oh good so you understand why I'm leaving you for sour cream and onion! Pheww thanks for making that so easy, original!
MLIPFA 0
Women are like a bag of chips. You get it, and you're left extremely disappointed because its only half of the thing is worth while. The rest is just hot air.
tiffany_hisgirl 0
at least he didnt say "you cant eat just one".
braheem 5
basically sayin "i cheated on you!"" daaaah
hantisago 1
So does this make polygamists the chex mix bag?
Anna191919 2
it's creative. But that doesn't make it nice to hear. Hope he's your ex boyfriend now?
scarthegoth13 3
leave him! omg I hate men who aren't faithful, you can do so much better :)
deviable 9
I always thought a bag of chips smelled like caterpillars.
deviable 9
I always thought a bag of chips smelled like caterpillars.