Health: Thanks, I hate it

Thanks, I hate it

By CabbageFart92 - 04/09/2017 01:30

Today, a package was delivered to my house. Thinking it was my new blender, I hurriedly brought it in to open it. Inside the box was an assortment of rotten vegetables that stank like Satan's asshole. I have no idea who it's from or why they hate me so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 613

You deserved it 308

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Same thing different taste

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 18:00

Today, I got a package containing a present from my grandma. It was a pack of cookies someone gave her for her birthday, and which no one in the family wanted to take home when she offered, because we all found the cookies disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 158

By melon squash - 11/09/2016 10:15 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 1 321

By JellitonOctopus - 25/01/2012 04:51 - United States

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 985

You deserved it 2 657

By bahhumbug - 21/12/2015 18:25 - United States - Seattle

Today, I received three big boxes from my mother in law, containing expensive cookware. I was puzzled, because I know that she hates me. Turns out she mailed them to us by mistake. Not only did she not get us anything, but I now have to pay to ship the boxes to her neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 119

You deserved it 1 906

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 3 453

By Anonymous - 09/01/2012 02:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 097

You deserved it 3 950

Too embarrassed to get them from a store?

By Anonymous - 14/07/2020 02:00

Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 1 662

It's for science!

By Ana - 19/10/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I finally got round to cleaning out my refrigerator. As I reached the back, I found an unidentifiable, moldy object lurking in the corner. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was once a cucumber. I'm growing science experiments in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 692

By cadillacfrank - 24/07/2011 21:01 - United States

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 816

You deserved it 36 563

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 622

You deserved it 6 657

ashily24 12

Monday 4 September 2017 1:38

It was for your new blender. Duh.

Donut_Wizard 23

Monday 4 September 2017 2:07

These days people don't throw rotten fruit at bad acting, they ship it instead.

Comments

ashily24 12

Monday 4 September 2017 1:38

It was for your new blender. Duh.

davecross 11

Monday 4 September 2017 1:38

Are you sure you didn't order the vegetables for the blender and just forgot

Donut_Wizard 23

Monday 4 September 2017 2:07

These days people don't throw rotten fruit at bad acting, they ship it instead.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 4 September 2017 2:22

They weren’t rotten, they were fermenting. Make your own Kampuchea! PS: That’s too close to Satan’s Anus, my trademarked name for my ironic Journey tribute band.