Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML
Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dogpup4 23
This really doesn't seem as bad when you don't misread boyfriend as brother. Like I did.
ilovetylerseguin 0
he's a keeper
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (219)
sunflower226 0
people like that should not be allowed to breed
GoW_Chick 15
So people who have a sense of humor shouldn't be allowed to breed? I think the world would be mighty boring if that were so.
QOD 0
109 preach!?
Dracoboxer357 36
I don't think I quite understand the Why behind your comment, 98. Is it a dislike of foreskin, that particular brand of humour or something else entirely? Cause I imagine OP's boyfriend was just attempting to be funny, not revolting. And if you don't include the commentary, all he did was pull back his foreskin. Nothing evil about that, and certainly nothing that warrants removing his breeding privileges. Did I miss something? :(
Caliborn_06 11
That's ******* awesome!!!
EduJav321 24
More like the eye of medusa
Calyx_fml 22
One cervical ring to rule them all.
Snow_Daisy 7
FAVORITED! Lol this is probably the stupidest thing I've ever read. Thank you for sharing. (;
Guy247bp2 1
You sure he wasn't referring to the salutation in "Avatar?"
DangerousGirl91 2
LOL ur bf is such a creep! If I was there I would have poked it and be like "Well I'm poking the eye of Sauron! Does it hurt?"
beatdownbarbie 5
FORESKIN WARRIOR!
bacon_ftw 5
Bwahahahaha
LOLZ11 0
LOL. Cause that's normal!