Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML
Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
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Top comments
dogpup4 23
This really doesn't seem as bad when you don't misread boyfriend as brother. Like I did.
ilovetylerseguin 0
he's a keeper
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Comments (219)
johnnyshred612 4
inb4 circumcision war where a bunch of guys with fractured egos argue over which girls like more while the actual girls don't really care
Camrynn 0
Hahaha
Psycho_Babydoll 26
This just ruined LOTR for me... Have fun in Mordor, OP.
GoW_Chick 15
I'm always blown away at the weird, funny, sometimes creative names guys have for their penis, your guy seems like he has a good sense of humor, good for you for finding a keeper.
moop256 10
I knew a guy who named his "long tall Sally" I sometimes wondered if he was a transvestite...
GhostlyGhoulish 1
That's ok, I call mine Russell Crowe aka the gladiator
moop256 10
For an uncircumcised one "the viper" makes sense
hateevryone 15
lol
Capt_Awesome137 0
Haha you should tell him (insert witty comment here)! That would be hilarious :/
wildman1056 7
Circumcised or not, guys that play games with themselves need to know how silly they look.
KiddNYC1O 22
Lost.
cooLING 0
Nice. Just tell the Eye of Sauron that it ain't seeing shit unless it wears a condom.
cooLING 0
Sorry for the double!
Brelywi 15
Haha, I laughed. Get a sense of humor! I can't wait to do that to my husband when he gets back from deployment.
dre9889 4
Wait... You can't wait to do that to him... Was that a typo?
Brelywi 15
With HIS, obviously, not mine (as I'm a woman). He'd find it hilarious.
Pelreskovich 11
That is disgusting..