By anonymous - 13/11/2015 00:00 - Netherlands

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 289
You deserved it 3 942
Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

allred1997 19

Tell him he's had to use his hand before, he can use it again

424 17
xxkrystalxx 14

She just carried his child for 9 months, and gave birth to it. HE should be taking care of her and make her happy.

222 11

Comments

nygreasemunky 5

Wow you picked a real winner. Glad you are carrying on his bloodline.

2 3
Kiri_Neko 18

you definitely picked a winner

3 2
bnbhimp 10

He has a serious case of fuckboi. Run there is no cure.

1 5
tomvertigo 17

Tell him you are cool with anal as long as you get to do it back to him... and have the strap-on in hand. That'll shut him up quick.

1 2
locustbb 9

At least he was at the hospital for you instead of off getting laid.

1 8
GAeroNKissR 26

I sure hope that you meant "with" & not for...not just HER baby. & I hardly think his mere presence versus not out cheating during birth should be viewed as the plus in this story - that should just be a given. Just admit his remarks were immature & move on.

4 1
takeittoem 8

Sounds like a healthy relationship.

1 2
rogerover 19

He may have been talking to others about their experience with a newborn in the house. While I appreciate op has been through a lot. There's an emotional element to this. A man can feel like the third wheel in the family for a while. Make sure the two of you stay connected. It's easy to push him away accidentally when you become obsessed with your newborn bundle of joy.

0 9
DoomedGemini 37

Yeah, because trying to get his dick taken care of is emotional. There isn't an excuse. He isn't thinking about their baby or even their relationship, he just wants to get off.

3 0
Jenadpantano 7

He's a guy. It's to be expected. However, he could have waited until he got home to discuss this, and in a polite way. However, there is nothing wrong with anal sex (assuming you haven't tried it, by the sound of it), and with how stressed the both of you will be in weeks to come, a little bit of time together for just the two of you may be nice. Maybe some oral and play time would be surprisingly relaxing. Don't shut him down entirely for still wanting you.

0 8
Spark_Slicker 19

Being a guy is not an excuse for being an inconsiderate asshole. And I'm not sure every guy out there would appreciate you generalizing them as one either. Sex is the last concern for a brand new mother. She's tired, she's sore, and she has an infant who is crying every hour for some need. OP's boyfriend needs to stop thinking of his own selfish sexual desires and just be there for his girlfriend and their new baby.

4 0
deathshead 19

I was really confused by this when I read it, mainly because I saw brother, not boyfriend...

1 0
ScenePanda45 13

Nope...time to say bye bye...your boyfriend is a dick. sorry op.

2 1