Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, my boyfriend's car broke down on the way to the gym, so he called his dad to give us a ride. On the way, his dad talked about how much he hates me and our relationship, as if I wasn’t sitting in the back seat directly behind them. FML
Today, a guy I liked came to pick me up for our first date. As he opened the car door, I noticed nearly an inch of dog hair on every surface of the interior. Not wanting to get it all over me, I asked if we could take my car instead. He was so “insulted” he drove off and left me standing there. FML
Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML
Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were riding in the back seat of his mom’s car and she kept talking at him non-stop. He responded only in grunts. When at some point I informed her that her son had been asleep for several minutes, she just kept on talking to him anyway. FML
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Top comments
syki 22
Guess you're not his main bitch.
BubbleGrunge 18
Next time he ask for sex, tell him the dog is probably more than willing.
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Comments (133)
DidUrMom_Twice 6
Maybe in his opinion the dogg
andiewithlove 21
The dogg........the dogg what!? D: How dare you leave me hangin'! (p.s. Your hip newfangled way of spelling "dogg" is soooo cool!)
whohasanaccount 2
But he did your mom... Twice
Munda1 4
That sucks OP. You should've taken the dog in the back with you lol
Iknowsomestuff 9
Unless it was a limo that sucks.
Evaloscity 6
If your ass got in the back, where did the rest of you sit? (;
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Dogs before Hoes! Wait, that isn't right...
yoloswagg54 9
Doggy style anyone?
redbandit9877 12
Well dogs are man's best friend, not girlfriends.
Silent_Thrill 17
But what if the girl looks like a dog... is it a tie?
FunnyMedic 7
Leave him. :-)
RedSnuwolf 4
Why the hell are you dating that asshole?
gregonfire 4
Did he at least put some dog food back there for you?