Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, my boyfriend's car broke down on the way to the gym, so he called his dad to give us a ride. On the way, his dad talked about how much he hates me and our relationship, as if I wasn’t sitting in the back seat directly behind them. FML
Today, a guy I liked came to pick me up for our first date. As he opened the car door, I noticed nearly an inch of dog hair on every surface of the interior. Not wanting to get it all over me, I asked if we could take my car instead. He was so “insulted” he drove off and left me standing there. FML
Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML
Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were riding in the back seat of his mom’s car and she kept talking at him non-stop. He responded only in grunts. When at some point I informed her that her son had been asleep for several minutes, she just kept on talking to him anyway. FML
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Top comments
syki 22
Guess you're not his main bitch.
BubbleGrunge 18
Next time he ask for sex, tell him the dog is probably more than willing.
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Comments (133)
Shrike 24
Blah blah blah "bitch" blah blah, bazinga, etc.
DontThumbMeDown 8
He was probably in a bad mood because he ran with his arms in the air after a girl that looked a lot like you which, made him look like an idiot.
ASD_K 11
Or maybe he was going by the line "business in the front, party in the back.".
sidewaysponytail 0
Still a better love story than twilight.
Silent_Thrill 17
Me making a circle with my fingers and fingering said circle is a better love story than Twilight. It's just a given now. So no need to say it.
BeRealB 4
Life's a bitch
DylansMomma 9
Your comment : Hahahahah!
Silent_Thrill 17
Your comment: Your comment : Hahahahah!
kprando25 8
Your comment: Your comment: Your comment: Hahahahah!
kprando25 8
COMMENTCEPTION
berryblizzard 11
Just about peed my pants laughing at this lol
DocBastard 40
He was just thinking of how much extra room your ass would need. How thoughtful of him.
esines 9
I thought it was funny...
jennifergo 0
What an ass!!
bReLiNg 18
Guess he's mans best friend.
torbey 23
It is possible that her boyfriend had a troublesome dog and having him in the front seat made it easier to keep an eye on him. If he were in the back and OP in the front there would be no one to make him behave. However, if this was the case then OP's boyfriend would clearly be distracted by him while driving, making him still an idiot. Either way, he obviously didn't use the best way to ask OP to sit in the back :P
ebonyirony 29
My dog cries in the back and panics cause my back seats are leather and he slides even with towels.He always sits in the front and my friends get over it.
beyondbusyx3 3
But do you only say sit your ass in the back?
McNerdyNerd 8
And friends are different than girlfriend too >.<